Don't know what to do

I don’t know where to start. First time posting, but I kind of don’t know where else to go.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of loneliness which has led to some depression. I’m not suicidal and I haven’t given up on the idea of things getting better.

For context, I’ve given up on all of my friendships. I know it’s not smart to be isolated, but I’ve spent weeks with no one checking up on me or asking me how I’ve been doing. I stopped going to church because I still felt isolated. No one reached out to me. People know who I am yet there was no one really pressed in to know me.

To add before I continue, I’ve always been someone who reached out to people. There are several relationships I had that I tried and tried and tried to become close, to try and keep in touch regardless of us moving away from each other and life happening, but it was never mutual.

I tried to be someone people could relate to and feel comfortable confiding in, but for some reason they couldn’t or had no desire for it. At this point I’ve put up this wall emotionally because I don’t want to deal with these people. I’m done with people who don’t really want to try and press in, but it hurts.

It’s something I’ve been praying for YEARS for relationships that last a while, but it seems like nothing comes of it. I don’t know what else to add.

Been there. What you want isn’t what others want. I learned that much.

You just be true to yourself. People will be who they are. People that care about you will find a reason to be a part of your life. I met plenty of people that act cordial yet don’t really want me in their lives. Also some people aren’t really meaning to be like that. They’re just busy.

Life is what it is. If you want it to change then you must find a way to change it and when that comes up empty that means you must change yourself.

Always be true to yourself. Everything you’ve felt is real never question it. Stand up for yourself. BE strong.

I feel it as well. For me, it is myself. I just never felt that I belong. I will never belong. The problem is me though. I am not happy with the way things are. People I know are or prefer to make it seem content.

So don’t be hard on yourself. Be kind to you. You’re doing nothing wrong.

i’ve been there too, to the point that i don’t know what to sugest besides what you’re already doing.

but one thing i realized when going through this is that some friends just don’t reach out. and it feels weird to have it all depend on you sending the first message always. but with some of those people, you can go weeks/months without communicate, and when you do (yeah, you’d have to be then one making it happen :pensive: ), the conversation goes the same way it would if you had talked the day before. and they won’t be upset about not talking for so long cause they know they can’t blame you. some friendships just don’t handle the flow of time in a logical way. i know it’s not ideal closest friendship, but it sure is a lot better than nothing.

Hi edecker83!

So first off, I’m glad you haven’t given up on things getting better! Because they very well may get better! And I’m glad you took the time to post here. I know it’s hard, but it may be helpful to find a place with some like minded people where you share a hobby/activity and maybe you can build some relationships there. Keep on fighting!

Raffi (Shnaff) :slight_smile:

@edecker83 Here is our video response from our live stream. Hold Fast


Hey man I’m dealing with the same thing at this moment! I have been going to a different church because the one I used to go made me feel so lonely. I’ve been gone for a few weeks & nobody has checked on me. I’ve pressed in to God & He has comforted me. This has shown me people’s true colors. As my Pastor back home had said one sermon “heart conditions are visible.” & that is such a true statement. I used to beat myself up because I felt I was doing something wrong because people forgot about me, but that’s not true.

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I can relate. It seems like making meaningful connections with people is difficult. Especially as o get older. I tried for the longest to have connections to people at church but I do not know how to do so. It can feel like banging my head against the wall. I’m the sort to isolate myself but it literally never makes anything better. I can’t say I know how to make those connections but I do know they are important. The darkest time in my life was a few years I didn’t go to church at all. I was pretty isolated and depressed. Weirdly I visited a small church (only about 30 people) and all of them significantly older than me. But somehow I found a connection to a few of them and they really impacted my life. Don’t give up man.