Don't know what to think

Hey guys. As some of you may know, I’ve talked about this a lot, my dad is in an affair and we’re trying to pull him back.
He is the last person I ever expected to do this. My dad has always been smart, dependable, and steady. He has a funny playful side but also an extremely strict side. Mostly it’s the strict side these days.
Yesterday, I was on the couch in the late morning, just singing as I was waiting for everyone to finish getting ready so we could eat brunch. I was singing some songs from the first album of my all time favorite band Black Veil Brides, my saviours. And my dad came up from the basement and demanded to hear the song I was singing. He demanded that I don’t listen to rock. Now, one thing straight, I love rock n roll. The spirit, the loudness, everything. My family is kind of judgemental at times, so I keep my music to myself. My dad probably doesn’t know how long I’ve listened to rock. Honestly, he scares me. He has hit us before. I know he’s doing all this so I can grow up to have a good future and money and all, but he’s ‘my way or the highway,’ ‘you do as I say’ strict. He’s done really hard things (never rape or anything) but I know he cares. Nowadays though I can’t be as sure as I used to. Anyway I just said OK because it would be a lot of yelling and uselessness to argue. But I’m tired of hiding. And today he brought home a magazine about drugs. He wanted us to read it so we understand. And he said a couple of times how people end up like that because they think their parents don’t know or understand and they don’t listen to them. I can’t help thinking he’s talking about my rock music. I’ve kept it a secret and have only spoken to my grandmother about it, but I dream of moving to L.A. and starting a rock n roll band and singing and making music. And of course, with rock everyone also goes with sex and drugs. I do not want to go into drugs and I believe in myself to not go into it. But when time comes to tell my father, what am I going to say? If I do go with it, I’m not going to college, like I know him and the rest of my family want me to. I don’t want to disappoint him or for him to disown me or shun me. But if it’s what I want what do I do? Imagining that conversation really scares me.
Also my sisters and my mom.
I know it will be hard, especially because I’m female, but I’d rather fail than never try.
Please help me.


Gosh it really sucks to feel like you’ve got this huge passion that’s completely misunderstood and even disapproved of by the person you really want to support you…it sucks to feel like this HUGE part of your heart and your life has to be hidden, has to be covered up, because you know you’ll be cut down if you were to show it. I’m so sorry, friend. I see you, and I accept you, and I love your dream and your passion.

You already know that your dad is doing his best and wants to support you in the ways he knows how. There is wisdom to what he says, because he has lived his life and has learned a lot of lessons the hard way. I encourage you to try to see the lessons he’s teaching at their principle and learn from him. There’s a way to learn from any criticism, and missing out on those lessons isn’t a good way to live life. It doesn’t mean you have to give up your passions, but it would benefit YOU to learn from him and continue to keep your heart and your ears open to wisdom, in whatever form it comes to you.

Keep your chin up! You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, a caring dad in your corner, and a great taste in music :wink:


I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to go into college if you want to have a rock band. Best help is music production, music writing even literary arts. People tell you that they’re worthless, but when you’re going to LA over where Hollywood is at. They care about that stuff. I’m not saying to stop listening to rock or obey your Dad. I’m saying to follow your dream the best you can and the first step is education.

This education will get you connections which is a big deal especially in Hollywood. I suggest start reading about the music industry, conversation and LA. You might want to look for a mentor that has at least been in the music industry.

As for your Dad. Don’t tell him anything. Plan. I suggest stop talking to your grandma about it because your dad is her son and she might be telling him about it and even if she is the mom of your mom. What could be happening is she is telling your mom and your mom is telling him. This might be the reason your father is bringing this up. (I could be wrong, but family is family and they don’t interact with each other because they hate each other. So this means most likely they communicate.)

Do what you desire. It isn’t wrong as long as you are not harming yourself or others.