Don't know why I keep letting bad people back in my life

I try again and again to let go of people who are bad for my mental health, who have caused me pain, and are just bad people, but for some reason I keep letting them back in. I feel so stupid and I’m ashamed of myself.
Why is it so hard for me to let go of negative people? Once I let go of them, I’m fine, but after a few months, I start to think about them, then I miss them for some reason, then I let them back in. what is wrong with me? Why can’t I move on from them?
I feel like it’s not even worth trying to get rid of negative people in my life, because I’m just gonna end up welcoming them back in. I can’t figure out why I’m this way.
Is it because I just want their company? Is it because I have memories with them, even though most of them had bad outcomes, so I have an attachment to them? I really don’t know.
I feel like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back. It’s so frustrating.
I wish I had the power to let go of them. I wish I had the power to move on and not think about them again. They caused me so much pain, but for some reason, I think they’ll change, or have matured, and convince myself to let them be apart of my life again.
I hate this so much. I’m sorry.

Hey fren… You are a very kind hearted person, so i think that could be why you keep letting these people back in your life, believing they would change for the better… Honestly its up to us to decide who we let in our life. I pray for you to find the courage to let go of these people who have a strong hold over your life. You need to surround yourself with people who lift you up and treat you right. You deserve so much more fren… Protect your heart :heart:

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It’s because you want love. And you learn love from your parents first. If you’re looking to understand why you have such a warped relationship with others, it might make sense to see what your “love template” is – how you learned what love looked like and what it didn’t look like and how you went about earning love – from when you were younger.

When did you feel loved by your father? mother?
When did you feel like that love was withdrawn or taken away?
What did you feel like you needed to do in order to get that love back?
Were there any other patterns you noticed about their affection for you?

Absence is as important as presence of love because it’ll teach you what you lack and what you desire now, and those notes ought to help you make sense out of why you let negative people into your life, even after a long period without them.


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Yes. Some people it is so hard to get rid of them. Especially if they want to be a part of your life or you fear what may happen if you can’t depend on them.
Start by speaking up for yourself. I know you want to avoid drama. Yet if you lay a boundary. They’ll get the picture. They might not care or cause drama. Yet they can’t deny that you spoke up about what you felt was the problem. That is a good step to begin or at least do.

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