evry day its harder to get out of bed. evry conversation is taking more time to understand and reply to. sounds are louder and air is thicker and evrything is heavy. like someone turned up the gravity. im tired of trying. i dont want to carry it anymore. but i cant stop cause i have responsabilities. i have people that rely on me, like at work. and family that would be hurt or worried or upset if i just stopped. i have a cat i need to feed and care for. i cant let any of them down. i cant cause them pain and stress just cause im weak. it would be easier if i didnt care about that. but i do. why does it have to be so hard? why cant i figure out how to do this? theres too much in my head, sometimes i just get this urge to rip it open so it can all drain out. its so messed up, i know.
i dont want to wake up tomorrow. i dont want to do anything to myself, but i just dont want to wake up. i want to just disapeer. dissolve into the air and the wind. i dont want to keep trying. i just want to stop.
From: I Am Reclaimer
Hey friend, this is not messed up at all. I’ve been there and there are many people that have been there too. We live in a society where continuing to do things because of your responsibilities takes precedence over your own happiness. It’s okay, and necessary, to take a step back and do something you love just because it’s something that you love and it makes you happy. So I ask, have you taken the time to love yourself lately? to give yourself a break and do something you genuinely enjoy? It may be hard to get moving, but if you can get something on your calendar that is something you look forward to, it will help you out so much! In fact one of my mentors shared this with me today… I hope it helps.
It’s Wednesday, the middle of the week when most of us are in full momentum. Things are busy, meetings are pilling up. We meet people. No reason to feel alone. Is that so? Burnout at work is not necessarily about being overworked. Burnout can be about something we never saw coming: social isolation or social exhaustion. Being around others doesn’t mean we don’t feel isolated. And being in conversations/meetings most of the time can have its toll - it’s called “social exhaustion”. No role is immune to it, and there is no safe place in the organization to avoid it. Human interactions are critical for a successful career, but watch for the signals when isolation and/or exhaustion is around the corner, If you feel alone, reach out, If you feel exhausted, take a social breather. Enjoy! Burnout at Work Isn’t Just About Exhaustion. It’s Also About Loneliness
From: Ash
My dear friend I am so sorry you are feeling all of this at this time. I want to encourage you to seek what I call as a refresh moment. To me it sounds like so much is being taken on and than you cant help yourself first. So it is important to stop and take time to do what you need for self care and self love. Take time to pause all but the major needs. Do something that brings you joy and relaxing whether that is chilling with your cat or loving on that cat to gaming on a PC do those things. For me personally I like to use the idea that I need to put myself first and yes there are important things in life but if I am not taken care of than my other needs or things wont be either. Hold fast Ash
From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)
Hi kikorangi_ruru First of all you are not weak. You are just very low on energy. You really need to take a rest. You might tell yourself that you cant but the truth is that you must. If you dont then your body will make you. You are burning out and thats really really bad. I know you have responsibilities but your first responcibility is to take care of yourself and your health. Without your health you wount be much help to anyone. To plase take some time to yourself ok 
From: Micro
Hey @kikorangi_guru,
I’m so glad you allow yourself to reach out and let all of this out. Goodness, it feels like venting was very much needed. You’ve been obviously dealing with a considerable amount of stress, pressure and responsibilities lately. Your mind and body are starting to say nope, stop, it’s time to slow down and breathe. I have been myself through the kind of exhaustion you’re experiencing, but considered it too late, which pushed me to a long medical leave and recovery. I would like to strongly encourage you to get an appointment with a doctor and ask for a medical leave to REST. Being away from all your responsibilities. Only focusing on things you enjoy doing. It’s time to release the pressure and create time for you. You need it my friend. No one can pour out from an empty cup over and over. This is not your fault. You are not weak. This is about being HUMAN, and what you’re going through is something many people have gone through. Allow yourself to rest and slow down. It sounds to be essential right now. 
Hey @kikorangi_ruru,
Thinking of you today. I hope this weekend will be a peaceful and restful one to you. It will get easier as you will make room to breathe in times to come. You got this.
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