Dunno what im trying to do with this but yolo innit

I guess I just need to vent or something. I’ve never felt so unable to move my legs in a while, not literally but, I don’t know I guess I just feel like what I really want in life is something I cannot reach, it is out of my control. I am powerless. 2 years ago I began falling in love with a girl who lived in an entirely different state, distance is a bitch though, it wouldn’t have ever worked out. Usually I am able to cope with the empty feeling in my heart, but recent events in my life have led me to believe I am not strong enough to overcome this. It feels like everyone has a moment in their lives that defines it, whether good or bad, and it’s impossible to overcome that moment. For me that moment will always be when we first were with each other, I had never been happier, and shit maybe I never will be again. I still talk to her, because even if I can’t have her I want to be able to help her. I would destroy the world for her. Sorry that this is a giant blob of venting but I just kinda needed to let this out, I don’t know if I’m doing this right, but I guess I hope someone gets something out of this.



Don’t worry about venting. You have the right to do so. I am letting you know that you are allow to feel and say. I don’t have an answer to solve your problems, but I am glad you are taking the courage to be honest, transparent, and being vulnerable. Those are hard things to do. Thank you for sharing. This community is here with you and for you.

Hey Friend,

I think venting is really cathartic and can be a helpful part of healing and working through feelings. So thank you for sharing this here. It sounds like you are still hurting quite a bit. It’s difficult to know what steps you need to take in order to achieve what you want in life. It’s all very overwhelming and so a feeling of powerlessness is understandable. However, I want you to know that although you may feel powerless, you are not. Sometimes the pain we feel is so strong, the idea of being able to overcome that pain seems so far out of reach. But just coming here and talking about this takes a lot of strength and that is powerful to me. Can I ask what it is you are referring to about what you really want in life? Sometimes talking it out can allow you to identify things you can do to help work towards that goal.

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes


you are strong enough to over come this , you may not be able to over come this right away , it will take time. I know what loving some is that lives in a different state, i was in a Long distance , it wasnt easy for me because we saw each other at least once a month when me and him broke up it was hard on me , you are not alone.by the way you WILL be happy again. you dont need to be in a relationship to be happy. You can find other ways to be happy like being around family, going to concerts, doing what you love to make you happy.for me , last week i wasnt in a place where i was happy , tbh i felt like crap i lashed out at a class mate because of what i was dealing with . i felt like a failure, i felt like what ever i did was my fault even tho those were the lies i felt like i wasnt happy, i wasnt living up to my expectations of myself.

Hey @parasite thanks for reaching out. You’re not alone in wanting things you feel you can’t get, and dealing with long distance relationships.
I want to be able to feel love… I don’t mean from a significant other, I mean, from the people who care about me. I KNOW that they love me, they fight so hard for me, and I BELIEVE they love me, I just can’t feel it and I WANT to. I’m still stuck in that right now - I don’t know how to move on to that point. I think I get to a position where I can feel it there, but actually, the minute I’m left on my own again, I feel like I have no one at all… Even though, actually I do.
I struggle with intimacy due to years of abuse of all types, and I fell in love with this girl who lived in a different part of England. It was going so well - I had planned after months to go and stay with her because we were ready to do that. Thing is… She would say things that would come across in a different way than she meant causing a lot of arguments because we couldn’t see each others expressions. It turns out she was cheating on me with someone in her area, but because we were long distance - she was able to keep it secret due to the fact I couldn’t actually find out. However, before all that, I felt like it was one of the best relationships I had.

Well done for posting, keep us updated, we are all here for you. You’re not alone.

Hold Fast

Hey @parasite here is our video response from our live stream. Hold Fast.