Just wanting to die the past couple years. I live to keep others going and happy and I have lost myself.
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You have lost yourself, but you do remain present. Always reaching out, without taking the time for introspection, can make you feel as though you don’t know yourself.
You know that old saying, “it takes one to know one?” That saying is usually used to bounce insults back to their source. However, it can also mean something very positive. For example, it takes a compassionate person to recognize the compassion of another. One must have integrity in order to understand when it exists in others. Any positive thing that you admire in another person, exists, at the very least as potential, within you.
So, find yourself through your appreciation of others. That’s one way of doing it anyway.
Your ability to keep others going and happy will be vastly improved, if you take the time to nurture yourself. The gift of your presence in the lives of others will be far more beneficial, if you recognize your value as an essential part of that gift.
If you have succeeded in keeping others going and happy, it’s from sharing the real and priceless substance of who you are.
Who are you? Place your hand on your heart and feel the love. That’s who you are. Your mind and body houses that presence. That part of you is pure and beautiful. Words are not adequate to describe you at that level.
You are an instrument of compassion and empathy. You must also be gentle, compassionate, and empathetic towards yourself.
You don’t know who you are? Observe yourself in action. Acknowledge the gifts that you use to help others. They are an intrinsic part of who you are.
Consider an inverse yet equally valid interpretation of the golden rule: treat yourself as you would treat others. That will help you get to know yourself.
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@EmilyCTaylor_Fans
Hi,
Being there for everyone but yourself is too much to expect of … yourself.
I’m not sure you’ve lost yourself, I think the part of yourself that has reached out here is YOU. Your true self, asking for help.
That part of you seeking relief from whatever is driving this moment for you, is your lost self. Remember, though it has been a couple of years, this is still a moment in time. A time that may be challenging, and painful, but a time that will past. This will not be your forever.
I don’t know what’s happening in your life, but I know that in the whole universe there is only one of you. You are a necessary person in our world, we all are, but finding that truth about ourselves is a process. A journey of healing. Often times a painful journey, but healing happens while you journey. And it starts with reaching out, and being vulnerable with our pain. You are not lost, You are here. You are loved. Peace
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Hey friend,
I’m so sorry you’re going through a rough time. Your message is very powerful though. The very fact that you’ve taken the time to type this and share it takes a lot of strength. To acknowledge that, somehow, the direction we’ve been following for years might be damaging for us is a very humble and brave thing to do. Really. Thank you for sharing all of this and allowing yourself to be vulnerable today. You’re opening a door to a part of yourself that, maybe, was forgotten during the past couple years.
To keep others going and happy is a very noble thing to do. But also a very demanding and overwhelming repsonsibility. It’s truly awesome to share your love with others and that just shows how big your heart is. Yet your heart is yours too. It’s a sacred place that needs to be cherished and honored not just for who it allows you to be… but because this is about you, your worth and your right to exist too.
“Not all those who wander are lost” is a part of a well-known quote from Tolkien that I personally really love. It reminds us that during times of wandering, we’re still living, experiencing, looking after a new direction that would be a little more meanginful to us. You’ve been wandering for the past couple years, but you are not lost friend. Actually I believe that you’re on your way to find yourself a little more, and your post shows how much you’re aware of this new direction. You feel it: something has to change, because getting to the point of wanting to die is not what you deserve. You sense that there might be a way to do things differently, and you’re right. Disappearing is not a valid option. Just like over-extending yourself and/or living through others well-being can’t be suitable in the long run. Between those two positions, there’s a new balance to create in your life, even if it requires to ask for help.
You’re not running out of healthy options. You’re not entirely lost. Though it sounds that, right now, you need to reconnect with some parts of yourself that have been pushed aside for too long. Your dreams, your needs, your projects, and just this inner spark of yours that crave for more peace and time for you… they’re calling you too, and you’re now closer to be aware of this inner life of yours. Those are healthy things to acknowledge, friend. Nothing selfish. Nothing to feel guilty about. Your individuality and your uniqueness are a gift that you are 100% allowed to nurture and cherish as a priority. It will also help you, in the long run, to be yet another inspiration to the people who have the chance to do life with you.
I wish you the best for this new call for a transition in your life, friend. You may feel very lost right now, but you will find your way. You have friends right here ready to support you and encourage you during this journey of yours. You are not alone. Your voice is heard. Your heart is seen and respected. Not for the love you give to others, but because you are you, alive, existing and entirely part of this world. A unique blessing that no one could ever replace or imitate. So, take care of yourself friend. Be gentle with yourself, as much as possible. Learning to treat ourselves with as much love we treat others can be challenging, but it’s worth it. You are worth the efforts it takes to learn to love and honor yourself. 
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Hey there,
I hear you there. Sometimes it feels easy to lose ourselves in helping others. Identity and purpose are so so important - and it can be really hard to feel like your purpose doesn’t live inside of you. Maybe it feels like who you are, what makes you you resides in someone else because you care for them so much.
How we view the problem is the problem. I think it’s amazing that you live to keep others going. That’s a noble cause and pursuit. But where does it come from? I think that’s a great place to start. Finding out where that desire, that passion comes from can be the starting point to finding out who you are. You can find that, explore it, and take things from it. Then, you can keep serving people, but you’ll be doing it with a recognition that you’re doing it for you. And that I think will be very fulfilling.
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