Empowerment/ taking control

My life has never ever been easy many people tell me I AM STRONG etc never have I believed them. Recently I made the choice to step further into my own trauma as a child with my two therapists. Yes this isn’t easy BUT WHAT IN LIFE IS. I also decided that because I meet with one to specifically talk out situations that happened and the other we put into action what was that topic for the week. I decided today to include the idea of empowering myself through the means of an horse activity. We created a course than walked it once than I rode the horse around this same course stopping to say the things we had placed for each spot. Finally my therapist takes the lead/my steering ability away and I closed my eyes. This made the idea that not only am I empowering myself but I am also trusting her and the horse that the situation before can’t control me any more.

I write this to say that maybe you are struggling with something and you don’t quite know how to help yourself through it but that is okay. It’s okay to need to lean on someone or to ask for help. I also want to challenge anyone who is in any situation where you have or still do feel as tho you have no power to find the fact that you are strong for dealing with that situation. Do not let someone take away that fact that you a stronger than the struggle you face.

As always hold fast
Disabledmetalfan (Ash)


Too often, people remember their failures but not their successes. When people verbalize fear about managing their lives, it can help to remind them of what they’ve already overcome.


Dearest Ash,

These words of yours are so very powerful. I’m glad that you keep challenging yourself in a safe, loving way. What happened before and what was done to you will never define you. People who hurt you don’t get to control your present life. You get to recreate yourself and your very own sense of security each and everyday.

May this new therapy experience pave the road to more healing for you. You are loved. :hrtlegolove:


I very very much agree with this. Life for each person is different and some maybe can’t verbally speak out about it yet for whatever reason but that does not stop them from having that same ability to be strong. It also doesn’t stop them from having the power to live on and fight the facts of this happened and I don’t like myself for it.
I also know personally until recently I never ever felt as thou I could share the specific details and specific words and I still am cautious but if I continue to let him take that power than I am stuck loosing that power to that situation. Even going through anything makes you strong because it isn’t easy and no one deserves to feel any form of that lack of control.



My dearest friend micro thank you for the wonderful words. I am super glad I have this ability to recreate new ways of dealing with these events in my past. They still will have a major effect but no longer will they control so much of letting the individuals keep the power from what they did. Many of my own challenges will not end nor will they stop all the triggers or what not but knowing now that hey you want to take my power heck no. That is what I am learning.



From: Dr Hogarth

Hi Ash,

I can’t say how happy it makes me to hear this progress from you. You are so so so much stronger than the struggles you face, I know you face a lot of them. Your ability to keep fighting is inspiring and I am proud of you.

Take care my friend x


From: Mamadien

Ash, it’s so good to hear about what you have been doing. You have been missed here and to know that you have been bravely working through childhood trauma is huge. The horse therapy sounds wonderful and empowering. What you describe is incredible for working through what has happened and taking YOUR power back. I want to stand and cheer you on for that. Thank you for using what you have gone through to help others deal with their trauma. You inspire me friend!


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Ash, I am so proud of you my friend, I admire you so much also, I am grateful for you opening up to let us know how you are doing and how you are dealing with your life issues and I am also thankful for the words of hope that you have written here. There are never too many times that you can remind people that they can ask for help and to not give up. You are wonderful and a pleasure to know. Much Love Lisa. x


This was a very heartwarming and moving post. Thank you for sharing this, Ash.

I think a lot of people needed this kind of post on the wall, and I’m hoping people that need this encouragement see it, and can take these words to heart. This progress, and knowing how strong you are on a larger scale, is definitely exciting news indeed!

All of these are very important points in this post, and so I’d like to quote them as well-- for others to take another read. Thank you, as always Ash, for helping to make this community a place for everyone to feel safe at home. Wishing you the best. <3


@Mamadien I know you replied via discord but I wanted to be sure you got to see it. Thank you for the wonderful reply. Firstly my major reason for not being as active has been due to my own computer being out of commission because when I had to drop and move due to a long situation but I didnt get to take all the pieces from my computer so its been an adjustment to get all those pieces back. To put it plain and simple the ex partner of mine tried to steal my computer but ended up only getting some of the parts that happened to be needed to use it. I keep the computer itself the one not easily replacable piece. But yes I have this entire time been slowing working through things and making steps to become more empowered and to not let what happened control me as much as it could. The horse therapy stuff is super amazing I love getting to use that skill and build on that with Erin one of my therapist the main one I do the actually riding part with. But it is amazing as not only do I get to use one of my favorite things working with and riding horses. But I also get to remind myself that in order to even get a horse to listen to you at all takes a lot of trust between that horse and you. It also takes a lot of strength mentally to do so as well like not only mentally etc but you have to be knowledgable in how to treat them and get them to respect you. I was very much reminded that hey not only do you have a talent with them but you also always seem to create a good strong connection to horses. Which makes me so happy.
Thank you again for this sweet reply and encouragement I am hoping to keep updating when I find new major things like this one.

Hold fast Ash


I am very very grateful for you reply. I love that you not only took my words as encouragement for you but also the fact that you were able to share that too. I am glad that you enjoyed the post I had made. Yes the journey is not over to anything but being able to share words of encouragement to others is what I love to do. I have strived to love others as unconditionally as animals love us. I also want to show others that no matter what part of their journey that they are in they still are powerful and strong for going through it. Making it one day is amazing even if it doesnt feel that way. We each all need to remember that we are supported for who we are and not for the things that happened nor for the things we may have chosen in that moment but what we do with it all now.

Hold fast