Emptying my mind

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I sit here writing this hoping I don’t bother or bug anyone, just as a way to empty my mind to give me time to breath, a distraction.

A knight clad in armor, he stands alone atop the hill, following his master’s orders, no regard for his own life he follows does as he told, no questions asked, alone he head’s to battle charging the force that stands before him one after one he cuts them down but like the monsters in the shadows the multiply faster than he can swing hid sword, he takes hit after hit his armor scratching, the claws of the monsters chip away at his armor, gouging digging in breaking off chunk after chunk.
The narrow slit in his helmet the one he sees through, that hid him from the world around him, now broken open, revealing the face of a tired man, as his armor shatters around him, he fights his body battered and bleeding, yet he won’t fall while he still has his sword.
Finally the demon who leads the monsters comes forth from the blood soaked battle field, his armour black as void, fangs protruding from corners of drooling mouth, eyes aflame like burning embers plucked straight from a fire.
The knight looks to this behemoth, points his sword, and charges the beast, with a quick hard swing of it’s arm, the knight is sent into the air, landing face down in the mud, coughing up blood the knight still stands up again, the thick inky red substance dripping from the corner of his mouth, shakily he walks back to the behemoth, picking up his sword, the demon charged him, picking him up by the neck, holding his neck so he can only just struggle to breath, in the beasts other hand it holds the knights sword, chipped and cracked, dripping monster blood, the beast shatters the blade and with it the last ounce of strength the knight had left.
Dropping his beaten bloody broken body to the ground, the demon marched onwards towards the knights home.
As he lay there on the ground, his body failing him, a year rolls down his cheek.
" I was strong, I fought and won so many times, but I’m so tired of the fight, the fight I’ve now lost, will I be allowed to rest now I wonder, can I finally say I’m done" he questioned aloud through shallow breaths.

3 Likes
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Thank you for sharing your journal.

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Another sleepless night passes into day, the sun rises with no concern for those who wish not to see another day pass them by,l.
The demons roam free unchecked and left to there destruction, running rampant in how they see fit.
A dark reflection stares back from a cracked mirror, lifeless eyes witness all they see like the eternal sentry.
Put on the mask again, hide all that is unwanted, so now it lies unseen, undiscovered, they way it should be so that those around don’t have to witness the lifeless husk the lived beneath the happy mask

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Dark Souls 4 story just got leaked?

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Haha I wish it was
Sounds like a good plot to a game

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Maybe I’m reading touch into the 6 words you wrote but
Are you right tho ? Is this a dark souls came ? Is life only to suffer until you find the the sun? Work so hard only to be put down, have others invade and destroy you?
I was just writing, dark writing but just words on a page, yet you wrote “dark souls 4 leak”
Which I probably am reading to much into (like usual, thinking to much) but as much as anyone may say yeah haha lol nice sarcasm of whatever, but you have a point
Push through the dark winding caverns, face the bosses, die respawn carry on find better gear and upgrade our skills, untill finally we see the sun and praise it.
Or I’m just being weird again.
Just some ramblings from a broken person who doesn’t know a damn thing
(And also being the same person who got as far as the spear throwing troll in dark souls 3 and gave up)

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Saying I’m done that’s how I feel like throwing in the towel admitting defeat I’m done. It’s like seeing the sun and praise it. It’s like admitting defeat that you win the game.

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A mind set forth to question everything, brings no peace forever it asks why
A heart that feels nothing but for the rage it embrace’s fully, brings only pain

A lack to understand brings distrust and disdain for everyone

Despising you whole being, not just yourself but as a people, destruction and the downfall the only thought that brings satisfaction, but yet to enjoy that feeling because you question it

I know that may seem cryptic, but from someone one who is told they have a reason to live, but doesn’t understand stand why they should look for that reason.

A crisis they call it, a crisis I think not but a curse yes

To explain what it is that I think is wrong would take a thousand pages, yes I could write it here but I ask why write here when the others here have there own problems and know what they are they have a light in there tunnel and a path to reach it, but I see many lights almost like fireflies in the moonless night, yet a barrier stops me from going to them, written upon this lies a question.
“Why?”
A barrier that makes me question it myself, my being,my place,the world, the people.
Answers come and go only to question them in the same.

I spoke to my mum I told her what I felt how I questioned, “I don’t know your reason but you have a reason, that’s why your hear, you may not find your reason till your 80 years old but you have a reason” she said to me,
That answer scared me, that ok I have a reason but I may never find it, so I said "if I have a reason but may never find it, why should I look for it, why look for something that may never be found?

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The more I hear it the more the questions get louder, the more rage I feel, you have a reason to live to carry on again and again my mind yeah s those words it doesn’t bring me comfort to hear those words, it brings agony pain and anger
What the hell is the God dam point to those words if it’s something you never find, I mean what the fuck are they for huh just another phrase to reopen wounds,
A reason a reason a reason ugh I just want to scream at those words
I hate that saying like yeah great I may or may not have a reason, I may or may not find it,
What the fuck is the point in finding that reason, why should I find it …
Why should I take be that reason
Why should you fight
Why should I leave be in this world
No of this makes any sense
You all know how sometimes you go shopping and buy something, you come home and open up the box and plug it in or hook it up and it doesn’t work, yeah something inside is broken so you take it back get it replaced or get your money back right
Well why can’t I do that huh why can’t I give this life back something is broken here and I want to return it?

11

your storytelling is beautiful,
the first post had me visualizing the events unfolding, the colors, the sounds from scraping metal and ground shaking thunder ,the close up of the pores of the flesh a hero’s stand to be told for centuries, the time spent to stop the demon saved the village he would never know (for now)… meanwhile his soul asking the question for him, whispering that the battle was not over. The tide had turned though to the real battlefield underneath the ruins of the outside world. Inside his heart and mind. The demon was now on the run.

thanks for a prompt to write~
not taking from your story but adding to mine!
i found myself writing like stephen king a few weeks ago about world events, one day i sat back and said dam if i can do that what happens when i try to write magic?
thats just me though!

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Well I’m glad that the rage put into words gave someone a spark of something good
But if you do write magic I think we may find that the world has another author
Good luck and have fun with it

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“But if you do write magic I think we may find that the world has another author”

I cannot help but feel and understand the magic in your reply
Touche’ my friend touche’. Well cast.

Added* later
IRL after these posts above.
i sat down for work to do weekly magazine i do
i downloaded the content package articles and comics puzzles ect.

This weeks List of Interesting tidbits about Knights was the main feature.
Fascinating
.Reading closer the list of tidbits was about the search for the holy grail and king Arthur, including Merlin.

anyway that happened.

14

I tried damn it I tried, to go back to the way I was to pretend I was fine that I’m not feeling what I’m feeling that I was normal,
But no of course it didn’t work, I can’t be the way I used to be, I asked those questions I opened the door in my mind and set these questions free, and now they won’t go back to their cage, and so comes the rage with the answerless questions, I tried to lock them away like I did before, but it won’t happen I changed I changed and not for the better.

"A man stands before a mirror, horrified by his reflection, no longer is he just a man with a cracked mask, he now sees what lies beneath the mask he wore, half himself and half something else, blackened charred skin, scared and torn, stretching across his body something moves beneath, a face that brings only one word, demon, a desire rises within him as he thinks on all that rolls within his mind the rage at the questions, a dark idea slowly claws it’s way to the forefront of his mind pushed by the face he saw in the mirror. “Destruction”
One word but one that holds so much pain and suffering, a low voice comes to speak in his ear “you are not who you where, no my child you are mine you are a child of anger violence rage and hate, you are to become my weapon of destruction, for my rage is yours and you shall destroy everything” he shivers as the voice whispers in his ear each word dripped with hatred, the man tried to say no but his voice caught and drowned out by the poison in the words, “you wanted a purpose and have given you one, you are a destroyer you shall bring the world to it’s knees, and crush it with my rage”
The words filled the man’s mind a heart he listed as the voice spoke as he listened the voice changed twisted into one more familiar, it began to sound like the man’s voice, to sound like his own voice.
He looked back into the mirror and saw the same as he saw before, but instead of shock at his reflection he began to accept it
The two parts of one man, one a normal person fit healthy blue eyes dark brown and blond hair, a half smile.
The other dark charred skin scared and wounded, thick matted dark hair, sunken eyes filled with hatred, a twisted smile
Two sides of one coin set to share the same life, as the man accepted both sides of the coin, he could see the darkness of the second half beginning to take more of the first, turning it black, scaring as it moved, taking over both sides of the coin

15

As easy day passes the thoughts become more normal, they frighten me less and become just another part of me, going out for what ever reason be it shopping or whatever, the thoughts are more prevalent than before coming to the surface almost coming out, sometimes they make it out sometimes I slip and speak them to the world, the thoughts they speak in vile language, no violence is off limits,
An example, in the supermarket, walking down the aisle, a lady pushes past me bumping my shoulder “oh I guess excuse me was to fucking difficult for huh, you arrogant bitch” she replies " how dare you speak to me that way" before she could finish, I turned to her a scowl on my face, “oh how dare I huh, listen up you arrogant self entitled slut, first off I’m the offended party not you, second of all your older a lot older I might add and on that note you should be more careful at your age your far more likely to meet death before I do, so keep your filthy mouth shut watch where your going because you never know when death will come knocking, or who he will send in his place” finishing it with a scowling grin
Like what the hell who does that but it just felt normal like that’s what I was supposed to do don’t get me wrong I don’t feel guilty about it but it’s ok so that’s me I basically threatened an old lady
I mean shit that’s far from the only thing I’ve done it’s not even the worst thing I’ve done but there’s a small part of me that enjoyed it that enjoyed seeing the range of emotional torment I put through her, I smiled all day after that I legit smiled like I was happy
I don’t even know why I’m writing it here like I’m trying for justification or something but I don’t care what other people think about me and haven’t for sometime now,
Im changing turning into something dark, like I listened to the shadows for to long and now I’m becoming like them