Today at school I’m surrounded by bright minds , by amazing people and I’m nothing. I feel as if I’m crap and I’ll never be enough
It’s literally like living all day just waiting to be exposed as a fraud…like everyone else belongs and you don’t…like there’s something inherently flawed with you that you can never recover from, and that you’re just waiting until someone discovers the mistake of allowing you to relate to them, and then BAM you’re gone…
And dude, I know this might sound bizarre, but I was the kid that was 12 when I got to high school and felt the exact same way you do…I felt like I was always one day away from coming to school and finding someone smarter than me, and it would crumble me like the house of cards I felt I was…if anyone was better than me, then everyone could criticize me, and I’d fall all the way down to the worthless pit that I felt I belonged in…but the crazy thing was that I started to compare myself to others in…every way…so grades, sports, hobbies, relationships, reputation, everything…and if I wasn’t the best at everything I was nothing…so you know what I felt most days? Completely worthless. I am just now learning to love / accept myself, despite everything that I was able to accomplish in my life…because at the end of the day it wasn’t what I did that would ever change the way I felt about myself…it was a heart journey I had to go on…not an academic one, not a physical/sports one…I had to learn to love and accept myself as I was and not as I wished I could be.
I hope that my story can encourage you because no matter what you feel you compare to others it will never change the hole that you feel inside…the journey doesn’t end anywhere except feeling worse and worse about yourself…but there is another way, and you can find the hope and love that you’ve been longing for there too.
Hey when I was in high school I thought I was not the smartest in class… then everyone found out I was good at drumming or art. Or something. I they found that I had something to share about. Are you good at games you would be surprised how many people out there are will relate to you. I found my academic score did not have to define my value.
You are not worthless. You are worth every second that I took to type this.
I want to leave you with this… I love you so much. I am so glad you are sharing.
We all have moments when we shine. You will have yours. Just know that you are unique. You are special and you are loved. Being who you are will always be more than enough!
That’s a huge thing I felt growing up and even now I feel like that.
Hi this is a twitch staff who picked up you Heart Support card at Twitchcon.
I just want to quicky say that school is not the most important stage of your life and don’t feel discouraged if you are not the best. Many people grow and flourish later in their lives and it’s really important that you know what you want in life and work towards that goal.
Don’t let others distract you from living your life. My experience is that people tend to focus and worthship things in school that aren’t as important as other characteristics/skills later in your lives. You’ll be surprised later on how well you do compare to some of those people whom you think is smart.
Don’t worry and be happy, do the things you love and enjoy every bit of your school years.
I do hope this helps, best of luck!
From someone who has felt this so often in life, here’s what I wish I knew back then. Everyone learns at their own pace, continue to surround yourself with bright minds and brilliant people, but do NOT compare yourself to them. Instead… learn from them, grow with them. The circle you surround yourself with will help the person you are meant to be. Life is a journey not a competition. Make friends with the people you are looking up to, and enjoy the journey with them. Remember, you are your own worse critic.
I’ll be thinking about you today