It sounds pathetic but laying in bed, twitching and wanting to get up but my brain isn’t letting me. It’s dark and heavy 
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It’s not pathetic. Some days we just need to stay in bed and that’s fine.
I would give yourself some time to just lie there and close your eyes. Then, when you’re ready, sit yourself up. You can stay there for a minute or, then one foot in front of the other - take it slow. Give yourself something to be excited about. For example… When you get up, get yourself a treat. It was hard, it felt impossible but you still did it. You deserve it. I hope that you can take those small steps to get yourself back up. I would also encourage you to look at Dwarf Planet. It’s a workbook on depression that HeartSupport published that has helped hundreds of people. You can buy it on amazon or check out the heartsupport website for a link to a free copy/other resources.
Hold Fast
Kayla
The hardest thing to do in life is to find the motivation to do, well life. And I think there is a huge weight on our shoulder to have to be “doing something” it’s ok to lay in bed and have self care but as I can see you realize that it’s affecting you. The best thing I can say is prove to your self that you are better than yesterday! Doing 10% is better than doing 0% even if it’s just cleaning dishes. I believe in you! 
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It’s not pathetic. We feel lazy when we can’t get out of bed. that happens but sometimes it is what you need. Not everyday has to be fulfilled by completing something.
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I know it can be tough to motivate out of bed, I struggle with that a lot as well. I have to give myself baby steps, “ok, getting up is hard, let me just roll on my side to the side of the bed.” A bit later when I feel ok I try to sit up. Every little move you do is progress <3
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