It sounds pathetic but laying in bed, twitching and wanting to get up but my brain isn’t letting me. It’s dark and heavy
It’s not pathetic. Some days we just need to stay in bed and that’s fine.
I would give yourself some time to just lie there and close your eyes. Then, when you’re ready, sit yourself up. You can stay there for a minute or, then one foot in front of the other - take it slow. Give yourself something to be excited about. For example… When you get up, get yourself a treat. It was hard, it felt impossible but you still did it. You deserve it. I hope that you can take those small steps to get yourself back up. I would also encourage you to look at Dwarf Planet. It’s a workbook on depression that HeartSupport published that has helped hundreds of people. You can buy it on amazon or check out the heartsupport website for a link to a free copy/other resources.
The hardest thing to do in life is to find the motivation to do, well life. And I think there is a huge weight on our shoulder to have to be “doing something” it’s ok to lay in bed and have self care but as I can see you realize that it’s affecting you. The best thing I can say is prove to your self that you are better than yesterday! Doing 10% is better than doing 0% even if it’s just cleaning dishes. I believe in you!
It’s not pathetic. We feel lazy when we can’t get out of bed. that happens but sometimes it is what you need. Not everyday has to be fulfilled by completing something.
I know it can be tough to motivate out of bed, I struggle with that a lot as well. I have to give myself baby steps, “ok, getting up is hard, let me just roll on my side to the side of the bed.” A bit later when I feel ok I try to sit up. Every little move you do is progress <3