I feel like I am not good enough for the college I attend. I feel as if I’m not as good as everyone.
Yeah that can be such an isolating feeling…to feel like everyone else is on some level above you, and that you just barely made it…somehow, by some mistake or chance of luck…and that at any moment you could be exposed for being the person that doesn’t really belong there…and no matter how hard you try it just feels like nothing you do will ever get you up to their level. It’s such an isolating feeling because it makes you feel like no one can relate to your pain, no one can understand what you’re going through, and if you were to open up about it to any of those people, that they’d judge you and look down on you as you fear they would.
I can tell you from experience that I’ve felt similar fears so many times it was almost like my daily life for so long…the brutal part was that I was one of “those people”…I graduated 4 years early with 2 degrees at 19 years old…I was a hyper over-achiever, and I felt like everyone was better than me all the time…I tried to perform well to prove myself as worthy of love, but I ended up just feeling worse and worse and worse about myself…trying to fix my internal problems by improving my external performance (or comparing it to what others’ lives looked like) wasn’t working.
If anything, I hope that my struggle shows you that you’re not the only one feeling this way…the people you look up to probably feel the same and either hide it well or struggle differently…we’re all broken, we’re all hurting, and you are not alone.
Hey friend. I think it’s totally normal to feel that way sometimes. It’s easy to see everyone else seemingly doing better than us, and we wonder why we can’t be like them. But the truth is, they probably have times where they feel just like you do. Everyone goes through that doubt and fear of not measuring up. But you are so worthy. You are good enough. You are supposed to be where you are. You may be struggling, but that doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to be in your college or that you’re not as good as everyone else. Keep holding on. We’re here for you, and you matter. You’re worth more than you can even imagine. Stay strong and hold fast my friend.