I lost my friendship with my bestest friend a month ago and it’s all my fault because I kept fighting with her due to the paranoia I had from the backstabbing I dealt with this year, as a result it made me question my friendship with her. She ended the friendship bc she couldn’t believe my apologies anymore (it was just so hard for me to overcome the backstabbing) and now she blocked me everywhere on her phone and social media and is gone. I do have other friends but they’re not ppl I could hang out with anytime since they’re busy ppl. I had one of my friends ask her if she wants to at least be on good terms with me and she said she’s not in the mood to talk about it, I can’t tell if she’s lying or being honest. I miss her so much and I feel like a burden
I relate to this so hard. It’s taken a long time for me to heal and I’m still healing but I say that to point out it is possible. I’ve had 4 emotionally and mentally and verbally abusive ex’s, parents that weren’t there to raise me, ect. I made a decision to dive into work and make work my escape and that worked until I fell asleep at the wheel. I was put in a position where I would have to face it in order to overcome. Now I have a couple solid friends who I absolutely would lay down my life for and they would do the same for me. If you show this person that you’re working on shit to get better, which I believe you do, there is chances of reconciliation. Your best bet is to give this friend space, work on yourself and let them see that you’re changing. I’ve told my best friend about my abusive past and how I feel I’m unwanted and opened up
About it, and she has helped me if I need to talk, encourages me to work on it when I don’t feel like it, ect. Another big thing is therapy. I’m currently working in a workbook called the complex ptsd workbook and being able to in a safe space talk about trauma, and my hurtful past, has helped me to heal. I’m not a certified counselor but I’m willing to give you my cell if you want someone to talk to personally like over a call or FaceTime or something. I promise you that there is hope to get better and it will.
Thank you so much! I would really love to call/ft my number is 6176785210
Do u think there’s any way I could let her know that I’m changing? I mean I’ve ever since been turning my head away from her immediately every time I would see her because I wouldn’t like seeing her reaction to seeing me since it would hurt my feelings, do you think I should stop doing that and start smiling at her in the halls? Cuz one of my friends believes that she might think it’s weird. Anyway let me know if you have any ideas and I would rly love to text/call/ft:)