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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Schism by Tool
Every relationship I’ve ever been in has always ended in conflict. Pieces always fit in the beginning when it’s new and fresh
I hope you are doing well after a break-up. It will take me for a few months to moved on from my past relationship. I need to reflect on why my relationship failed. Is it because me or my partner? What should I work on to improve my next relationship? There is no reason to rush to be in a relationship. It’s okay to be single until you are physically & emotionally healthy. Sometimes people tend to lose their personality when being in a relationship. It’s important to know your personal values & boundaries.
What is the main reason that you relationship always ends in conflict? I’m just curious. I totally agree with your statement to not think that all relationships are going to be bad. When you meet a new person on a date, it’s good to have fresh & new positive mindset. You never know if the person that you will meet be the one. I hope you find a partner in the future that supports & appreciates you. You sound like a wonderful and kind person.
Hey friend,
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s really hard when it feels like your connections with others is somehow doomed to always end up the same way. When you’ve known negative experiences repeatedly, just like the ones you’ve shared here, it’s hard to not start to question ourselves and our willingness to keep on trusting others. After all, if you give everything to a relationship but it always end up the same way, then what’s the point of trying again? It feels safer to retreat, live on your own and stop seeking connections altogether. You see what like a patterns at play that doesn’t make sense or feels out of your control, almost as if the battle was lost already.
I can only imagine how disappointing and frustrating these experiences must have been for you. You’re totally right: at the beginning, it usually feels like being on a comfortable cloud. There is the excitement of getting to know the person, the sense of novelty; the curiosity of new experiences and all the “first times” you would share with the person. Then eventually some monotony can set in - it feels you’re not looking at each other the same way, not sharing space the way it was before. There seems to be a before and an after, which oftentimes is a real challenge to overcome within relationships. In the end, it makes you miss this feeling of novelty and pieces fitting together at the beginning… almost like a distant and cherished memory that could not be experienced again. Relationships evolve for sure, and with it comes its share of transformation, of seasons to walk through. I’m sorry that, in your experience, it has been often met with frustration and conflict. It’s so hard when the communication seems to be completely blocked, when raw emotions take over the relationship… when it feels like you don’t recognize the person you once loved anymore. It’s a tough place to be in.