Im tired of people promising that they would stay and never leave because they always leave and hurt me in the process, they are living proof that im unwanted and no one wants me in their lives since im such a fucking burden. Another reason why im unwanted is because literally everyone ive ever dated cheats on me or leaves me and recently I got cheated on by my gf and thay just made my depression even worse and did lots of bad things like self harm and attempts on my life and im back at step 1 but now even worse. And to be honest i see no more hope in getting better i just give up because its bullshit that life gets better because it fucking doesnt
Raven. I know that you have been struggling like this for a long time and many of us have done everything we can and more to help you. Please realise that if you work WITH us and LET us help you, you’ll get out of the rut. Did you look at the activities I suggested a while back? Look into ordering yourself Dwarf Planet. We want to help you and we care about you. We just need you to please please start working with us.
I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Unfortunately, people aren’t perfect and they will fail you at one time or another; you just have to be careful who, exactly, to place your trust into. Unless someone has directly told you that you’re a burden, please don’t believe that lie about yourself. You’re important and your life matters. Even if you feel like no one cares about you, we care about you. I care about you.
If you give up, then the world will have lost someone that it so desperately needs. You have God-given potential inside you that all of creation is longing to witness. I was where you were at about 2 years ago. Ready to end it all. I felt no matter how much I loved anyone, it didn’t matter because everyone eventually goes their own way. I struggled with so desperately wanting my dad to love me, then my step dad, both of which failed to do so. I clung to anyone who showed me love, and one by one they all let me down, each time it hurt worse than the last. I continuously showed them all how much they meant to me, and how much I loved them, and it didn’t matter it seemed. It felt like they pushed not just me away, but rejected my love for them as well. I spiraled into suicidal thoughts, and my depression held me down for years.
I want you to know that what I learned through all of it, was that my heart was wounded deeply, moreso each time, and there is not a single person that can mend that other than Jesus. I understand you may not believe in Him, but He believes in the you that you do not see yet. He is pursuing you with a fierce passion. He knows just how deep the wounds in your heart are. Imagine that you are in a battlefield, surrounded by countless enemies. All ready to strike, bows drawn, swords raised. You’re laying on the ground, beaten down, bloodied, bruised, eyes closed prepared for your end. Open your eyes to Him, and you’ll see that every last enemy has been destroyed. He has stormed the battlefield to rescue you. As far as you could see, are slain enemies lain on the ground defeated. His eyes are locked on you,and His hand it stretched out to you. Open your eyes to His. That is not a scenario, that is the spiritual war you are in, and the very moment you open your eyes to Him, the reality of His victory is made known to you. He requires nothing from you, other than to open your eyes to Him. When you do, the enemy cannot hurt you anymore with the thoughts of depression, suicide, and worthlessness because you see the reality that they have already been defeated.