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Fairwell Fan #1

I feel extremely guilty. I forced myself to leave my boyfriend because a professional told me i was experiencing narcissistic abuse. this means that my boyfriend has a personality disorder. i feel so guilty for leaving and not trying to help him get through it. it was not a healthy relationship but part of me feels like if i love him, i should help him to make sure he gets the help he needs. i feel so much guilt for abandoning him.

I think your wanting to help him is very sincere. When you care about someone enough it is hard to see them go through struggle, and deep down you want to care for them and be there for them. If it was best for you to leave him because of this, or because it was not a healthy relationship, I don’t think there is any wrong in doing so because it is not just one person in a relationship, it is two people. Caring and knowing what is best for yourself should be important. However, although you may not be able to help him in the sense of an intimate relationship, perhaps you can help him as a friend. You could do so by just saying something along the lines of, “I may not be able to help you by being in an intimate relationship with you, but I may be able to help you better as a friend.” You can sincerely help him as a friend as long as you keep your intentions that way. There are ways outside of an intimate relationship that you can help him, and I think you wanting to help him is a great thing!