This is bothering me more than it should.
I work at a fast food coffee place, my brother is the assistant manager, and im just a crew member who could pass off as someone who leads shifts.
A lot of people (the main people who work here range from ages 17-23) are gossipy and are distant from me as a result.
Over time, every single of of us grew tired of our boss and the attitude and treatment of staff, so as a result we were happier on shifts without her.
There was a coworker I thought was cool to be around until she got into an edgy phase (mind you she’s 16) and I always try to work as hard as possible and keep a good relationship with our boss so agreeing with any of her behavior wasnt a good idea, so we veered off into our own spaces, and she found a group of friends over time as more people were hired.
Partially due to the fact that I have to fake friendliness to everyone, and partially because i was interested and getting to know that group personally, i always tried to engage with them. They were friends with the coworker I enjoyed being around so I wanted to join in too.
But considering work performance being my top priority and they preferred to socialize, I ended of working through days instead of getting to know them, sometimes even telling them to get back to working…
Considering most people are sick of working here now including me, my brother, his fiancee, and my boyfriend (Yes, we all work here), everyone sort of bands together in this bonding of sticking it out for each other and really hating the job and being sick of the boss kinda deal.
( I also forgot to mention that back when everyone wasnt sick of working here, I always tried to report if someone was doing something wrong. I work with family, so im trying to make his life easier. That might sound cold, but its what I did)
So now since everyone is bonding over hating the job, the 16 year old that once worked here left and i tried to keep in contact with her just to catch up. She seemed to have a rough home life at times and i couldnt help but want to reach out. It doesnt seem like itll last.
Another coworker apart of that friend group also left. I tried to keep in contact with her, which she agreed with face to face, but now i feel like being ghosted. I reached out a second time about something she said she would share to me but didnt, she said she would show me when she got home. Never did, and didnt message back from a conversation we had on text either.
Now I just feel this regret of having them in contact in the first place. When i first came to this job i told myself I don’t want to try to make any friends here, that was my promise and I broke it.
Now I can’t stop thinking about how they don’t text me and how they’re gossipy and it was a bad idea to try to establish friendship in the first place and how I really want to block them to make myself feel better but a friend in that group still works here and I dont want to stir the pot with anyone from a simple block.
I also broke a promise to myself so it hurts.
How do I get myself out of this headspace? We leave this job in possibly late april but I can’t get these negative thoughts out of my head I feel full of regret I don’t even want to tell my brother I tried to message one of the friend group friends because I feel shame, I feel like he wouldn’t understand why I tried to message someone like her in the first place, sort of like how I feel. He only knows I texted the 16 year old.
I don’t want to associate with them anymore, and I want to leave this job so bad. They don’t message me but I don’t like that I messaged them and there’s a chance they’ll message back.
How do I go by dealing with any of this?
I’m really sorry for this long topic. Thank you for reading.