Hello! My father passed away in October . I am 22 and I was the one that found him and had to do the chest compressions and call 911. It feels like I can never move past it and it feels like I’m constantly stuck in that moment and have no idea how to move past it. It feels like I can’t move past it and I can never have fun. I went and saw silent planet on Thursday and even then at the show I felt sorrow and grief because I can’t tell him about it.
Lotson! Please, be strong. If for no other reason that your dad likely only wanted the best for his children, and not for you to be sad over his eventual passing. I’ve lost several family members before, although I can’t imagine the grief of having to find them. It may take a while but you will one day be able to experience life again without pain.
The memory of finding them, will likely take a long time to go away. I try to override the memories of my grandmother and aunt that make me smile, every time I remember the pain of being at their funerals.
Do you have any memories of your dad that make you smile? Or that you remember made him smile?
Hi @Lostson. I’m so sorry to hear about your father’s passing. I can’t imagine how you feel because I haven’t been through this, but I can imagine you’ve been struggling quite a bit.
I think you need to give yourself more time to grieve. Grief doesn’t have a time limit, and October really wasn’t that long ago. You will eventually be able to find some joy in life, but it will take time. If you’re concerned that you aren’t healing well, maybe speak to a counselor to get their opinion. It never hurts to speak to a counselor if you’re concerned about something, but to be honest, at the moment, I think it’s more that you need to give yourself more time.
I don’t know if you believe in heaven, but I do, and I believe that our loved ones who have passed can hear us. I think that if you talked to your dad, he would still be listening to you. I know it’s not quite the same as when someone is right next to you, and maybe it seems a little silly, at least at first, but if you haven’t tried speaking to him, maybe you could try sometime to see if it helps you any. Tell him how you’re feeling, everything that’s in your heart. If you don’t want to do that, it’s ok. It’s just a suggestion. I hope you can find the path to healing sometime soon.
I’m so sorry about the passing of your father. I have watched loved ones pass. It’s so hard. I can’t even imagine what it had to be like to find someone like that. How awful.
Friend, grief is hard. So hard. I wish I had words that could heal that pain for you and take it all away. Just know that you are among friends here and we care.
It’s normal to feel so much sorrow. We all grieve different. It takes everyone different amounts of time. Take the time you need. And just know that we are open to you and you’re welcome to share your heart any time.
So much love to you.
Thank you so much! I apperciate it I just feel so stuck and I do have memories of him that makes me smile but they also make me feel alot of pain because I know those memories are the last ones I have of him. Me and him were very close and I used to always call him around lunch time threw the week no matter what I was doing and I tend to think to myself alot about calling him but i know I can’t.
Yea, I imagine. I felt really lost when I lost my loved one too. In a lot of ways. It was really hard moving past it and everything centering around it. It takes time. It took me many years.
But, even though those memories may hurt for a while, it’s truly a great thing that you DO have good memories to remember them by. To be of comfort to you. Knowing that they loved you. The fact that you were very close. Those are things to embrace. Right now it really hurts. But through out your life those good things will be a comfort. Something good to look back on. To share with loved ones.
I used to think that people I loved that passed were still at home fine. Because It just felt so unreal. It was hard to wrap my mind around. It felt like they’d just be there if we went over or called. So I get it.
If you need to, don’t be afraid to seek out help. Sometimes having a therapist or even a friend to talk to or go out with helps a lot when we are battling through grief. But, know its okay to take the time you need to heal and process.
Thank you again! It’s just so unreal the whole thing is unreal it doesn’t feel like it happened. It feels like a bad dream and what scares me is that I felt so numb to it. I still feel numb to it. It’s either numbness or momentary distractions or just overwhelming saddness at random points throughout the day and I hate it. I’ve never expierenced death this close to home before
That’s a pretty understandable experience. Given it was your father. My heart goes out to you. Sincerely. Just always remember, it is okay to seek out help if it gets too hard. You do not have to fight all that alone.