My friends dont really talk to me anymore, they have gone distant and reply every week or 2/3 weeks. My best friend does every week and going on social media today for the first time in ages hurt because, i see my old friends, partying and hanging out with people and im stuck at home and i feel, forgotten, like i have been left behind. I used to hang out with them like the people they are currently hanging out on but ofc they will distance themselves with a depressed person who they have not seen in 2 years. I feel so lonely.
ps- if i dont reply or am active its usually because im in a better mood, i only come here when i feel horrible horrible and if i dont reply its cus i get upset sometimes of different things so i want to stay clear of a past topic in case of triggering or adding more to my plate, im very thankful for all of your replies.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Suffering from depression and experiencing that people aren’t understanding and turning away is so incredibly hard. Feeling left out and that no one cares hurts. I’m so glad you’re here. We do care about you here. We hear you and we see your pain. You’re not alone in this.
Are there loved ones who check in with you regularly? Do you see a therapist who helps you cope with your depression and its symptoms?
Have you asked your friends why they don’t talk to you anymore? Are they overwhelmed and don’t know how to behave around you, especially during phases when the depression gets worse? I don’t know the details about these friendships, but maybe explaining them how you feel and how they could support you would help?
Take as much time as you need to get back to us here. There’s no pressure. We’ll be here for you and we care about you. Thank you for reaching out when you need to, that’s always an important step.
have you tried talking openly to them about this?
I know that going out has been scary for you lately, and that things are changing so other folks are going out more now.
Can you think of some solutions for how you can interact with them in a way that feels safe for you? Would you be comfortable with one of them coming over to your place and having a socially distanced meetup?
I know for me, there’s one friend of mine who our big outing would be going to the grocery store to get items to make a meal with afterwards. Just two peas podding, and doing something fun, without anyone else involved. Maybe you can even get takeout and have an outdoors two-person party of sorts? Is that something you could do?
Sometimes friends give us space because they think that’s what we wanted. We have to make sure that we let them know, with clear words, that we do want company, we do want to do things. Only then can we really judge what’s going on in the friendship. Communicate what you need from them, and then see how best you can work out a plan to do something fun with them.
it’s so hard being stuck inside your own environment and fearing the outside world. Unfortunately I’ve been there and it has also impacted how my friends have been towards me. The more you isolate the more they just assume you don’t want to be invited which isn’t always the case. Life and work in general also play a role which is hard. Have you spoken to a professional about your fears and about your dynamics with friends? Online communities can be helpful to feel less alone too which may be a good start for you! You don’t need to feel alone and only find solace when you’re feeling down. You’re welcome to come and share your triumphs too! Feel more connected.
Hi @v4ventetta I’m sorry that you’re feeling left out. Remember that you choose to isolate and it’s not logical to think your friends won’t go on with their own lives. They are still there tho and I think really all you need to do is say, “Hi, I’m back.” and join them. Just because you aren’t around for awhile doesn’t mean that you can’t continue your friendships with them. I’m sure they would love to have you back. ~Mystrose
Hello again, v4ventetta! I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t found a way to reconnect with your friends and work around your Covid fears so that you can spend time with them. Have you tried spending time with them digitally? I know you said they’re distancing themselves but it never hurts to keep trying until and unless they ask you to stop. They are going out and having fun and they would probably love to have you join but you aren’t able to and that’s just how it is, unfortunately.
Barring the ability to spend time with your current irl friends have you thought about trying to make some online friends so that you can have some people to spend time with without triggering your fears. Find a good community and maybe find some supportive people who you have things in common with that you can spend time talking to online. Good luck finding something to make you feel like you have community and support. And as always we are always here
Hi v4ventetta. I am sorry you are feeling this way. I know you have been feeling like this for quite some time. Your situation is unfortunate but its not gonna change if there isnt something done about it. Maybe you can get vaccinations and stuff so you are protected and meet your friends in safer conditions. Also all of us will get covid eventually so try to accept it. Try to reconnect with your friends. Do it under your own terms but go for it. It would be for the best. We need to learn how live with covid because uts not going away any time soon. Take small steps and aim for something better. I hope you will get in touch with them soon
Hey V4vendetta, I am sorry these things are getting to you so much, as I have said before that this past 2 years have been so hard on everyone and the fear of covid has been so massive that we have all had to change our lives in such a way that its consumened many lives but now things are starting to change and we are going to have to learn to get back to some sort of normal life and normal life consists of going out in to a world that has illness and viruses that can make us unwell and covid will make you unwell of course and hopefully now with all the vaccines that is all it can do. I would encourage you to talk to your doctor and get some real life up to date info on covid, not what you read on the internet and then with the proper precautions in place start to venture out and begin to live your life. Now is as good a time as any. You deserve to get out there so do it. Much Love Lisa. x
It’s sad that you feel like your friends haven’t been talking to you as much lately. I’d suggest talking to them so you’ll get to know why this is happening, what you can change for it and how to go about the problem. At least you have us to talk to, we’re here to make you feel better Show that you feel the need of them, and if they’re true friends, I’m sure they’d notice and try to talk to you more frequently for sure. You can still find new people online just like us who you can also talk to, there are a lot of communities out there. Just because you haven’t spent time with your friends in real life doesn’t mean that there aren’t other ways to cope with this.
It’s okay that you only feel the need to come here when you’re not feeling well, we get to help you when you need it
Hi friend, reading your post and I recommend you spend more time here with us because you mentioned in your post about being lonely and I would like to let you know that we are here for you as a friend.
Show that you feel the need of them, and if they’re true friends, I’m sure they’d notice and try to talk to you more frequently for sure. You can still find new people online just like us who you can also talk to, there are a lot of communities out there. Just because you haven’t spent time with your friends in real life doesn’t mean that there aren’t other ways to cope with this.