Feeling Awful of myself

I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for most of my life, but it feels like recently it’s starting to get the best of me. What hurts me the most is the fact is that I’m in a place where I should feel I should be happy to be where I am, but the problem is that I feel there’s something wrong, and I beat myself up over it.

I have these voices go through my head. “You’re unhappy, so feel unhappy.” Or “Stress is happening? Feel awful about yourself.”

I’ve been going through some rough patches with life, and I feel most people would go through it, find a solution to these problems, and move on, but these thoughts are persistent. I play scenarios in my head that don’t make since, but bring me down. I doubt everything about myself, and doubt the relationships that connect me.

What I’ve been trying to do is tell myself that this is a part of life, and I just have to go through this. Everything will figure itself out eventually if you keep pushing, but it’s sometimes difficult to be positive with telling myself that I should always be sad due to an unforseen circumstance.

I want to know how others cope with dealing with stress, and what are ways to stop doubting myself. Because if i keep going down this path, I’m afraid I’ll push people away, dig some hole where I can’t climb out of, or do something so much worse. I’ve had thoughts of suicide, self harm, and just wanting to rest my body forever. I just want to make sure that I can remind myself that I mean something in this world, and that everything is going to be better in the end. That life gets better, and that I don’t have to feel depressed 24/7. I just don’t want to do something that I’m going to regret.

Hey friend! Thank you for posting. I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling so bad recently. Those voices in your head are voices that everyone hears at some point in their life, it’s just that some of us hear them louder than others. I’m also guilty of playing out scenarios in my head that I know for a fact will never happen, it’s not abnormal to do that. The one thing that’s keeps me going right now in my darkest moments is the love and support from the people I reached out too.
Have you looked into HeartSupports Dwarf Planet workbook? It’s designed to help you explore and understand your depression/feelings better. As for the suicide and self harm feelings… You’re not alone, I deal with those thoughts and urges everyday. Please reach out - don’t let yourself fall into that cycle. It’s not worth it.
Edit: I was just looking through some things and remembered the Truth audios that the HS staff record on the phone app. I think that could be beneficial to you as well… Those times when the voices in your head are too loud, put those on and drown them out. When I actually remember to turn them on, they really help me.
Hold Fast


I am proud of you for trying to stay positive, friend. Don’t try to be perfect, nobody is. You can be perfect right now, just the way you are. It all depends on how you see perfect.
Don’t let those thoughts overwhelm you. It’s lies.
Try immersing yourself in a hobby. Learn how to play an instrument, draw, see what you can create. There’s potential in you to do anything.
Talk to us whenever, keep us posted. You are not alone. Find your pride, and borrow ours.
As long as you know in your mind who you are, the thoughts will never win over you.

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Hey friend,

I’m proud of you for openin up to us, it is cherished. I struggle a lot with self worth and anxiety which has led to many other issues; please know you aren’t alone.

Life has been very stressful for me as well recently- it’s like when we don’t finish something when we plan to or we just have a mass heap of tasks we need to get done just piling on top of us it gets really hard. Sometimes I feel it in my chest, I get weaker, it’s hard.

The key thing is to take baby steps and to remember the sun will rise and we will try again. If I I don’t accomplish something today there is always tomorrow- that doesn’t mean to keep putting it aside but just to remember that you worked the best you could today and although it is not finished yet there is still time tomorrow.

You are not alone, hold fast. We believe in you.

With love,
Lyss (ur old pal Blurryface)

I actually ordered the book today! Thank you for your kind words, and I promise I will get out of this.

You don’t have to promise me anything. Just take it one step at a time. <3

Hold Fast