My name is Rene and I’m 28. I don’t really post here that often, but I’m feeling especially awful right now. I frequently experience depression and social anxiety. Usually I isolate myself when I’m feeling down, but I thought that I should at least post about it. I was triggered this time by a youtube video of a girl returning home from the army who surprised her brother at his baseball game. I cried. I cried not only because I was happy for them, but because I was sad for myself. To have someone miss you that much…is foreign to me. I just lay there afterwards paralyzed by sadness- unable to summon the willpower to get out of bed. I just kept thinking to myself “I wish I was never born.” I thought about playing the switch to distract myself, but I don’t even want to do that. Can’t bring myself to read the Bible on my nightstand either. Or pray. Sorry if this sounds super whiny. I think it might be helping me to cope a litte. That, or I’m just getting sleepy now…
Anyway, ending my life is out of the question. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt others like that and I’m also curious to see what God may have planned (Jer 29:11). If you can relate at all, please leave a comment. Or maybe we can have a chat and be lonely together.
P.s - please forgive my grammatical errors I’m not much of a writer. Obviously
Yup I still have times where I feel lonely and depressed sometimes. Especially that I have quarantine myself. Your not alone. I constantly isolate myself because I’m an introvert and I thrive on being myself but I still have those times where I want to talk or hang out with others. I also have times where I don’t feel like reading my bible or even pray as well. I feel you on that. However I learned that despite how I’m feeling, Jesus still loves me for who I am. Even when I don’t feel like talking to him, he is still there loving me because he can’t stop loving, its in his nature! It doesn’t matter what you or I will do for him but rather what we remember what he has done for us.
Hope this helps out
Thank you Kanzats for your response. I actually believe that communities like this help us to get through rough moments in life. It certainly has helped me. Just remembering that there are others out there suffering through the same things has helped me to press on. It was a rough week but I´m feeling better today. Thank you for your encouragement
Thanks Joey for that reminder! Do you mind me asking…what keeps you faithful? Do you have any encounters with God that you could share with me?
Love your profile pic btw I love The Office
No problem and yes the office is the best! What keeps me faithful to God is because He has been faithful to me even when I wasn’t. Also because I am reminded of how my life would be if I never knew him as well. I have only a few encounters. One of them is from a youth retreat when I was a teen. It was one of the nights where we had what we call a prayer after glow. I was saved only for about a couple of years and had some doubts about my walk with God. On that night I decided to go to the front and separate myself from everyone else who was praying in the seats. From there I was just honest with God and asked him why he chose me. I actually never heard a voice from him but from inside myself (which I believe it was the Holy Spirit) reminded me that no matter my doubts or questions God still wants to use me. Regardless of my flaws. I have another one but can’t really remember but all I have to say is continue to have encounters with God. It could be anywhere. Your room, your car, going outside. You can encounter God mostly anywhere besides just being inside a church building or a church function. Hope this helped you out.
The title of this thread pretty much sums up how i feel most nights. im a divorced 32yr old single parent. i havent dated anyone or felt an emotional connection to anyone for about 5yrs. but its the nights where i wish i did. i suffer with depressing thoughts and am pretty hard on myself and sometimes wish i had someone around to just hold me and tell me everything will be ok. i find myself constantly praying for another oppertunity to fall in love again, so i can try do things differently and in the end make it work.
but its not just the night i feel alone, its the days to. i honestly feel like i dont exist or am not noticeable to anyone. i do suffer with a social anxiety disorder and struggle to approach anyone to talk…especially the opposite sex. i find myself getting angry quickly with the “world” for not giving me a chance. or just get angry with myself for not siezing an oppertunity to say “hi” to someone i find interesting.
so ya, i feel lonely most nights/days and falling asleep at night is proving difficult of late, becos i overthink at that time. so im happy to chat and be lonely together as you mentioned… hope my response is of interest and you can feel some what “normal” that you not alone with the way you are feeling