My name is Rene and I’m 28. I don’t really post here that often, but I’m feeling especially awful right now. I frequently experience depression and social anxiety. Usually I isolate myself when I’m feeling down, but I thought that I should at least post about it. I was triggered this time by a youtube video of a girl returning home from the army who surprised her brother at his baseball game. I cried. I cried not only because I was happy for them, but because I was sad for myself. To have someone miss you that much…is foreign to me. I just lay there afterwards paralyzed by sadness- unable to summon the willpower to get out of bed. I just kept thinking to myself “I wish I was never born.” I thought about playing the switch to distract myself, but I don’t even want to do that. Can’t bring myself to read the Bible on my nightstand either. Or pray. Sorry if this sounds super whiny. I think it might be helping me to cope a litte. That, or I’m just getting sleepy now…
Anyway, ending my life is out of the question. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt others like that and I’m also curious to see what God may have planned (Jer 29:11). If you can relate at all, please leave a comment. Or maybe we can have a chat and be lonely together.
P.s - please forgive my grammatical errors I’m not much of a writer. Obviously