Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and depressed

[Lavendercrandberry]

Feeling frightened and frazzled. Had the unfortunate experience of enduring a ‘mini’ earthquake… even though lasting a few minutes, it was a terrifying experience…

I kept thinking how truly and deeply alone i am. How without my foster mom and her family…as terrible as they are…without them my loneliness with be taken to other degrees…

If there was another natural disaster or anything else, i would have to endure it all alone. There wouldn’t be any phone calls, nor dialing up anyone.

I still am feeling very depressed about the neighbor guy ghosting me. I miss him alot and its very difficult residing in close proximity. I love him. Its been three weeks since he discarded me like a piece of garbage…

I am pretty certain theres another woman or multiple. He would have been apologizing and begging me to forgive him and remain in his life by now…like he had previously done…

I am very tempted to go outside and talk to him when i see him coming from work.

It sucks that i haven’t even heard from him during or after the earthquake.

It pains me that he doesn’t care and is unaffected by all of this. Hes very happy and walks around smiling and radiating energy reflecting happiness…

…and here i am still crying daily over him

[ThriceTheThird]

Hello Lavendercrandberry

I think that here you really have to focus on what you can do for yourself, and find ways to separate yourself from the idea of needing attention, or closure from a person who has treated you poorly, and who doesn’t go out of their way to give you the attention you deserve from them. If they discarded you like a piece of garbage(something that you are not), then I think it’s best you try to move on from them, and not waste your time on them anymore. I think it’s good you realize that you might be even more lonely without your foster family, and have some gratitude towards having them. Regardless of if they are not always the best of people towards you. Heartbreak sucks, and is very hard to endure so I am not saying it is easy to move on, but it definitely feels to me that in this situation it is necessary. Are there any ways for you to meet new people where you live?

[Malig3]

Hi @Lavendercrandberry,

Thank you for continuing to share with us. I am sorry about the earthquake. I hope you are safe. It is really hard to move on from someone you love. I want you to know that your feelings are extremely valid and you have every right to feel overwhelmed and upset. The way he treated you and neglected you is not okay and not fair to you. No matter how much you think you want to speak to him sometimes, I am so glad you have not given in to that temptation. He does not deserve another word from you. I agree with @ThriceTheThird and think you need to focus on yourself and come to terms with the fact that sometimes you cannot get the closure you need from other people. Take this time to pour energy into yourself and your happiness. Do you have any hobbies or interests? If not, are you interested in drawing? writing? running? Filling your time with a hobby is a great way to get your mind off of things and bring purpose, motivation, and spark into your life. Finding a hobby I love really helped me move on from situations that were stuck on my mind by bettering myself and helped me realize how much more I deserve.

I am so glad this is a safe space for you to vent and express how you are feeling. I am sending you love and hugs <3 Good things are coming your way, be open to receiving them.

[Lyss]

Hey there!

First off I want to say thank you for posting, we appreciate you being open here, we do not take it for granted.

The frightened and frazzled I am so sorry you are feeling that way, that is never a comfortable feeling to have. I cannot even think about how scary it must be to be in an earthquake, small or big, that sounds so scary. Please know your feelings are 100% valid, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

I can relate with you on the feeling alone… for most of my life I have felt so alone. I understand that feeling, that pain that comes in your chest, the thoughts you get, when you just feel so alone. I know that the feeling of being alone is so hard to overcome, something that helped me in the beginning was Heart Support, please know you are not alone, ever. The community is always here to listen when you need someone, and to be a shoulder to cry on. We are here for you always.

I’m sorry that your foster mom and her family are not the best… you don’t deserve that. It can be hard to get away from negative people in life, especially with that intense feeling of loneliness. It has got to be so hard feeling so alone, and having people be around you, but they do not help. It’s like feeling alone in a crowded room. You are not alone in those feelings, I know that may not help all that much in this moment, but sometimes for me personally it has helped to know that I am not the only one feeling this way- that so many other people are having the same thoughts and feelings as me… makes me feel seen, less like I am going overboard.

Ghosting absolutely sucks and I am so sorry that is another thing happening to you in this difficult time, you do not deserve that. I cannot explain why people do these things, but please know that things get better… things get easier to handle, to overcome, over time. This does not have any show on your worth- you are worthy of love, of happiness, of good things. Sometimes when relationships go south for me I try to remind myself people are going through things, it does not make what they did okay but it helps me a little I guess. Please know it is possible to overcome this, I know it is so so difficult, but it is possible to get better, to not think about it so much. I think seeking closure is an understandable thing, but please be safe. It sucks when it seems like other people don’t care, with some people it may seem like they don’t care, but they may care deep inside, but that once again does not make what was done ok, sometimes when I remind myself of that it gives me some kind of solace.

Crying daily, I have been there, it is so tiring. It’s okay to cry, and to grieve relationships… please know it gets better, there is the hope of getting better, of being happy again, of not crying and being tired so much… it is possible, it takes work, but I believe in you. Heart Support is always here to listen, to be a shoulder to cry on.

Friend, I believe in you. I know this is so hard, and I am so sorry you are going through these things. You are worthy of love, of happiness, of good things… never forget that. We are always here to remind you as well. You are so loved, and you are worthy of good things.

Take it slow, much love to you.
Lys