Today, I am struggling with lonliness, sadness, and jealousy. I lost a job I loved and had to find a new one quickly. Now, I am back at the job I quit in order to be at the job I loved. It feels like a giant step backward considering the drop in pay. Everyone I know seems to be moving forward and leaving me behind. Any friends I have made over the last 20+ years have yet to reach out to me, or respond when I reach out to them. I feel abandoned. I love my family, I love that they are there for me. But I really wish I knew more people outside of that dynamic. Now, before you say, “You gotta get yourself out there1” There is no “out there” in my hometown unless you want to go to a bar, or a funeral home.
I don’t live in a major metropolitan area and the majority of people who live here are old enough to be my parents or grandparents.
So the interest pool is as dry as the Mojave.
Well I shouldn’t say today. I’ve been feeling like this all week
That’s really hard when you live in a smaller/rural area. You’re right that people tend to move away and the people who remain are usually older people or invested in keeping family farms ect running.
Do you find any enjoyment out of any hobbies? I know you mentioned in the talk it out channel that driving isn’t a good option for you, so I think I found a lot of joy in online communities. People with shared interests/hobbies. Now it’s even easier with bigger platforms to reach out and find specific groups ect.
I know it’s not the same as being able to interact face to face, but I know there’s an art and craft group here that does stuff online with zoom or something similar. That kind of stuff can be fun too. Even to take your mind off of things for a little bit.
I know things can seem a little stuck and stagnant at times and it’s really hard to find a win or to wait until the next opportunity shows itself.
I hope that you can find something you can enjoy whether it’s a new online community or game or a new book. Hope you’re doing okay
Do you find any enjoyment out of any hobbies?
Honestly? No, not anymore. I find them tedious and downright a waste of my time and money. And oh, yes I did belong to an online community but that community fell apart after its leaders of it disappeared. So we’re stuck chatting about nothing like a bunch of people sitting across a table and talking about how good the soup is over and over again.
It must so hard to go through the motions of switching jobs so brutally, especially when it’s about trading something you love for something you actively worked on leaving before. It is completely understandable to feel like moving backwards. You’re suddenly surrounded by the same environment and elements that you once fight to stay away from. It is truly heartbreaking. Although you as a person are not moving backwards at all, even if it feels that way. You have gathered experiences and knowledge that you didn’t have the first time you were at this job. You have grown as a person.
Even though right now the circumstances are mostly about adaptation, it is not something that will ever define your own growth nor your future. It is, unfortunately, part of the things out of our control that life throws at us at times, things we have no choice but to deal with for as long as necessary. You my friend are so very strong and courageous for trying to ride this wave of changes as you do. You have all my respect and I’m truly rooting for you, hoping that you can get some fresh perspective work-wise as soon as possible. You surely deserve to do something that you like, and not something that makes you feel without a purpose.
Please let us know how it goes for you on that matter. I would love to hear some updates and, hopefully, we could help you navigate these difficult times. Even though your life context right now certainly feels pretty lonely, I promise you that you have friends right here who genuinely care. I know it’s different than physical/1-on-1 type of interaction – although it’s here, it’s real, and it’s a resource that will ALWAYS be available to you.
I’m thinking of you today and sending some healing vibes your way. Hope you take care of yourself through these challenges. You’re loved so very much.