Feeling Really Down

I am just feeling very low today. A person I really liked found someone else and it hurt. I am the type of person who lives inside his head and often builds too many fantasies. When I found out this truth all those fantasies died and I feel like I am mourning the death of someone, a relationship that isn’t true. And, yet it hurts.

I feel depressed, foolish, and just plain crappy.

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Hey @hufflepuffbruhv,

It’s good to see you.

It may have been a relationship that isn’t true, but still as human beings we hold on to expectations and dreams as something that could happen, which is enough to consider it as a loss once it’s gone. A huge part of our life is experienced in our own mind after all. It takes an important space in our everyday life. So how you feel right now makes absolutely sense.

I’m sorry you are hurting and I wish I could make it better instantly. Seeing someone you’re attached to finding someone else is not a direct rejection, but it’s still something that affects your hopes and the possible things you were envisioning with this person. These are things that you will learn to mourn, day by day. But for now, it’s a time for processing, and pain.

I hope you will take care of yourself today and in times to come. This is a tough situation, friend. You deserve to go through this with as much care as possible. Please take it easy. Be gentle with yourself as you process what’s going on and how it affects you. :hrtlegolove:

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Hey friend,

I am sorry friend. but you are right about feeling like you are mourning the death of someone because it is like losing a life with that person. The pain will subside because that relationship is not real through those fantasies, be kind to yourself and allow for some grief to spill out.

It gets better soon

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I don’t know if this helps, but perhaps rather than viewing this as the death of a relationship you can view it as the beginning of something new. If the person you like has found someone else and enjoys that relationship, you can perhaps come to conclusion that you like the person on such a deep level that you wish them happiness regardless of who brings it to them. In this way, you don’t need to ever stop liking the person but maybe view your relationship with them under a different perspective. It is not wrong to like someone deeply, even if those feelings are not fully reciprocated, as that is part of what makes us human.

I hope gentler days are ahead for you.

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