So I found people I could jam with, it couple as now. One person I been jamming she really cool and laid back. And new guy that jam with tonight is a sick drummer. It pretty fun jam session and it good vibes, so far both seem very honest people and fair.
I’m honestly kinda stressing about, sometimes things are too good to be true and sooner or later their will be drama. Or just band won’t happen.
Things I wish could done differently, I let ego get me and I would rants on Instagram how I hate the music scene and how everyone suck. ( I deleted them) I’m scare they will see that side of me and thier mistake that could bite in the ass.
It also still feels awkward, I’m ten year older than my band mates and in someway that wired guy that live with parents ( without a girlfriend) and has no friends. It be great to develop a friendship and get close, but Im 31 year s and they like early twenties.
I already talk about some intense stuff with, that probably should not , I don’t man, people think I’m wired and people think me as a creep.
Yeah, when people hang together, sooner or later, disagreements will happen. If you know there’s a pretty good chance that it will happen, and commit ahead of time to keeping your cool, such occurrences can actually help you grow closer, as each time a friendship is tested, and survives, it grows stronger.
When it comes to self-disclosure it’s probably best to let them know that you are working on some issues, but explain it in a way that does it scare them. They probably have some issues to work on as well. Friendships can flourish when people are thoughtfully honest with each other.
These are some really good news. So excited for you @Metalskater1990!
It is also understandable to fear to appear a certain way and/or for the story to repeat itself. However, I completely agree with @Wings: honesty and vulnerability are key in order to build authentic relationships. Who knows, you may even discover that you have more in common than what you thought at first. You don’t have to share a biography of your entire life. Just hints here and there of what is important to you and might be stressing you. Ultimately, we all have our part of weirdness, which becomes less apparent once we truly get to know someone.
hey friend! this is awesome news that you found new people to hang out and jam with! thank you for posting this update and letting us know how things are going. i’m sorry you feel insecure about where you are in life but i’m proud of you for getting out there and making these friends! i wouldn’t worry too much about age if they don’t bring it up, you’ve got the talent for the band and that’s what they enjoy! if you ever need to rant on the music scene or anything, maybe you could create a private instagram to post about it there instead of your public account? all in all, i’m very proud of your progress and how you made these friends. i hope you feel proud as well and can enjoy this time with them! sign me up for one of y’all’s vinyls once you land your first record deal hehe keep moving forward, my friend, you’re doing awesome! love, twix
Hello again, Metalskater1990! It’s great to hear that you have found some people to spend time with and play music together. I know it’s so difficult when you have anxiety but just try to enjoy yourself and what you have with these new friends rather than focusing on the potential that it may end some day. Sometimes good things happen and last. I know it’s hard to imagine sometimes but it does happen.
Regarding the age difference I wouldn’t worry about it. Once everyone is adult age I feel like they stop worrying so much about how old their friends are. I’m 31 as well and I have online friends who are in high school and have made some that are my parents’ age. It’s just a number. What really matters is that your levels of maturity and your personalities sync up. Whether that’s because you are still in your early 20s at heart or they feel older in how they act. It doesn’t matter which way it goes as long as it works. And not just online. I made friends with a few 20-somethings at work and some of them have even said “I have other friends in their 30s”. So it isn’t as uncommon as you might feel and it certainly isn’t weird as long as you and they don’t feel like it is.
I think it’s awesome you were able to open up to them about some more intense things. And if they keep hanging out with you then they clearly weren’t scared off so that seems like a good sign. I think these are all really positive things and I hope you can relax and let the good that is happening to you right now just happen.
