For me my grief is not about suicide i lost my par

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For me my grief is not about suicide. I lost my parents. My dad 11/2022 and my mother 7/2023 and I find that I lost myself. I lost my job right before losing mom. After dad passed of cancer I realized what is more important than spending time with mom and my husband? Nothing… nothing is more important. When she was gone the hole in my life got deeper. I have had no drive to get a job. We are moving soon to another state and I am hoping this will help. You see, we moved in with mom once they were both ill. Being around the house has been hard. We close at the end of this week on the sale and I am hoping there will be a new start… Sorry for the novel… :slight_smile:

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I am so sorry for the loss you’ve been through. Grief hits us in so many ways, job loss, the loss of our loved ones. No matter how we lose them, it’s a hurt that stays with us and can from time to time reignite with a memory or just a passing thought.
Spending time in the place that brings the memories of those loved ones is also very hard.
It’s like a tug of war letting it go and staying there. It feels like if we let it go, we lose everything they touched and the space they occupied, but if we stay there it feels like every memory is so visceral it’s hard to heal from.

I do hope that the sale helps with feeling there is a new start and a new path to look forward to.
X

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I completely agree that grief can be experienced in so many forms and not all of them have to be a death. The fact that you have experienced grief in the form of losing loved ones and of losing a job and then even losing the joy and motivation to keep pushing forward, it’s something that can take such a monumental effort to overcome, and I’m so glad that you’re still standing and able to share what you’ve overcome.

At times it doesn’t feel like we are completely through it even after time as passed, but when we look back on where the journey began, we can hold our heads high.

Little by little life comes in circles and cycles and the grief and hurt we experience from loss can start to turn into fondness of the memories of love and happiness that can help propel us through the next cycle of sorrow.
It can be funny how love can feel like pain in the face of grief. But at its core it’s still love. It was real and tangible and continues to stay with us. I believe we can never truely lose the people we love, they manifest themselves into our lives and even a scent or a bird in the sky can bring a flood of that love we felt into our hearts.

Grief can scream so loudly and can feel so isolating, and it’s agony to have to go through all the stages it presents. The hope to hold onto is that once the fog starts clearing we have this sparkle of light that is the essence of all that love.

Hoping that moving to a new place will indeed feel like opening new pages to write on for you. It is so hard when you are stuck in an environment that keeps on being a reminder of what and who you have lost. Hopefully, the perspective of being in a different place will offer you more space to keep on going with your life. Which does not mean forgetting your parents in any way, but allowing both yourself and them to now have the right space in your life. To re-balance things progressively while allowing yourself to grieve at your own pace. There is no doubt that your parents would be very proud of you and the fact that you are doing your best to keep on caring for yourself, even if grief and pain would make you feel stuck sometimes. It’s okay if your heart needs time. It’s okay to take it slow. :heart: