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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Bring Me The Horizon - Drown
for some reason i always type out the message, ready my cry for help only to delete it thinking I’m not worth the time it takes for someone/something to help me when others need it more. at least songs like this let me go on for a day longer even if nothing changes no matter how much i try.
It’s okay to take your time, friend. The very act of reaching out and asking for help can be profoundly intimidating, especially if that is not something you are used to do, or if in the past you did it but your message was not received the right way by others. It is particularly challenging to say “I’m not okay” and to seek support. It puts you in this vulnerable position where people actually see you - not hidden behind a mask or a smile, but as you truly feel at the moment. It is like opening a door to very personal parts of your self. It makes sense to find it difficult, and to face a lot of fears or justifications as to why you shouldn’t do it.
The closer you get to reaching out, the higher the anxiety becomes, and the rush of thoughts too… I’ve definitely been there, over and over throughout my life. Heck I just wrote a message yesterday to try to reach out and open up about how I’ve been feeling lately, and… I removed the message. You’re definitely not alone in this, if that can bring any comfort. It’s easy for the mind to find a lot of reasons to not ask for help. It doesn’t mean it’s right, but it’s an expression of the fears we feel at the moment, which is valid. Somehow, sharing what’s on your heart is like taking a risk, because you don’t know yet how others are going to respond to it. It can turn out to be a very positive experience or a very negative one. And the only way to know is to open that door in the first place - which feels lik a huge responsibility!
You are definitely worth the time that someone would offer to listen to you. This is how you feel about yourself and your struggles, but that doesn’t indicate any tangible truth. The truth is, if someone is willing to support you - that means they see you and how worthy you are. And if someone isn’t willing to do that, then that just means they may not be the right person, or they are not equipped to listen, or it’s not the right time for them. Through all of this myriad of possibilities though: you are worth it. You are valuable. What’s going on in your mind and heart is absolutely valid to share. You have the right to occupy space and share your voice just like any other person on this planet. You matter!
On the other hand, your struggles are not less important than others either. I know it’s easy to compare ourselves and feel like others are going through a lot while our own problems may be insignificant. But whenever you see that voice inside of your mind at play, it really is just an expression of your fears and anxiety at the moment, not of any ultimate truth. Because no matter what you are going through, it is important to you. It matters in your life, in your story and circumstances - and in light of who you are at the moment, so it is important! A struggle may seem from someone on the outside like it’s not a big deal yet actually feeling like it is the end of the world for the person experiencing it firsthand. It’s a matter of perspective there, and there is no need to judge the value of quality of people or their struggles.
As a fellow anxious bean when it comes to reaching out, I would love to encourage you to keep pushing through and to keep trying. You are never wrong for sharing what’s on your heart. If someone reacts poorly to it, they are in the wrong. Your voice deserves to be heard, friend. And if you’ve been alone with your thoughts/struggles, then it’s okay to welcome others into your life so they can help. Not everyone will be equipped or ready to listen or even understand, but from experience I can tell you that there’s more people than we imagine who actually experience similar emotions than we do. We have different stories, but we can connect at an emotional level through a very large diversity of situations, which helps in feeling understood and less alone.
If you would feel a little more comfortable, Heartsupport has an online and anonymous forum to reach out and be heard/supported. It is at forum.heartsupport.com - and you are absolutely welcome to post there. I am personally a member of Heartsupport’s staff and an admin there, so I can definitely assure you that conversations there are respectful, caring and safe. It’s a precious space to share our most vulnerable side when we need it.
No matter what you would decide moving forward, know that someone out there is proud of you for trying already! Even if you removed your comment or hesitated, or anything like that - you still tried! And that is huge! I hear you, I see you, and I hope you will have some positive and safe interactions that will increase your confidence in opening up about your struggles when you need it. The first step is the scariest - then the waiting is challenging too when it’s online and we wait for a response. But I have faith in you and in your ability to overcome those fears. You got this. 
@@HeartSupport whoever you are, thankyou. I somehow actually cried reading this…