Forever starting over and constantly losing people T.W

Hi all, first post here.
Bit of background about myself: I’m a 33 Y/o Man, after recent research, it has become clear to me that I am most likely Autistic and/or A.D.H.D un diagnosed as of yet. When i was a teenager I began to self harm and became very depressed and anxious as well as several suicide attempts (due to overwhelming emotional pain from being alienated and alone).

I started counselling when at college and would later on devote 5 years of my life training to be a counsellor and went back to therapy during that period. I left that course before the end of it due to other interests seeming like a better option.

I qualified as a yoga teacher and started practicing Nicherin Buddhism around 7 years ago. I do have a spiritual outlook on life and have a great deal of self awareness. (oh and i have a habit of over-explaining things(due to being misunderstood so often))

Making friends has never come naturally to me, it has usually felt forced. Throughout my life i have never really had many friends, maybe 2 or 3 at a time and the only time I had more was when i was at school when i was only popular due to being good at something. Bullying was more or less a constant at school due to being “different” (looking back on it, more than likely the autism/adhd).

People don’t seem to stay long in my life, it has usually been conditional friendships, such as me attending their class or playing by their rules or by being on the same course as them. on average, maybe they’ll stay for 4 years then something will happen and either I withdraw or they do. It’s a pattern that is really exhausting, building new friendships/relationships is extremely difficult to me.

Recently I met a woman (Maria) that i am extremely fond of and want a relationship with, however she is hesitant. A MASSIVE amount of my time and energy has gone into getting to know her and keeping my motivation with her (I get bored easily and tend to “strike while the iron is hot”, so being patient with her is taking a LOT out of me), during the intital months of getting to know her, I sought advice from 2 close friends. However in the past few weeks 1 has had a mental breakdown and the other has gone from seeing me every week to telling me that she only has time for me twice a year. They have been a huge support to me and now they are essentially gone.

I’ve sort of exhausted the people who I can reach out to right now.

Here i am again, while i do have a few sort of friends, I have lost my main support network, i’m grieving for the loss of my friends and it hurts. While i’m fortunate to have Maria in my life, who actually stopped me walking in front of a moving car recently when i thought of here, yes i felt suicidal. I do feel very alone and on the verge of losing everything. I am somewhat hopeful about a relationship with Maria, however i know it is a huge risk.

I’ve come quite comfortable with death and knowing that I may die soon is a relief, weirdly enough it helps me live. At the same time, I accept that i will most likely die by my own hand.

Not sure if any of that makes any sense or anyone can relate, its just where i’m at right now.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading

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You are loved and valuable. I know it can be really hard or impossible to see. I know because i am speaking about myself. Life can really have some ups and downs. I relaly love the song cartel faster ride. Life can have ups amd downs. When life gets you down it can be so hard to see the good. Or think that it wont change. I really struggle with that. When i am depressed i can see no good. It is awesome you have Maria. Maybe. There are so many resources. It can feel hard to know where to even bwgin. You are smart and strong. You reached out here on heart support. You have a great mind. You explained your situation. You know where you are and what you want. What you can work on. You might be down now, but i pray to metallica (or whatever higher lower) (lol, sorry i had to try to be silly).
I know life is not easy. You are smart, aware, there are good people out there. Keep being yourself. You are special and wonderfully made. You are unique. Life can be hard.

Please be safe. I know life can get hard. There is so much good. I learned from your situation and you are also helping me. You do matter. Sorry if i am rambling.

I really like to listen to heavy August Burns Red songs when i am struggling somwtimrs. Composure and i scream the screaming parts. It helps me.

Hey there, I know the feeling, but do not let it get to you, you start over as many times as you need to, until you find the right people to vibe with… I know from experience, I thought I had people that will always be there when I need them and thought they would always have my back, and they showed their true colors, so I made the tough decision to get rid of them but life brought me even greater people, do not give up on yourself and keep going, I’m here if you need anything!
Kenny

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I have been there too. You’re not alone, you’re never alone. Life can sometimes get overwhelming but just know that compassion is a beautiful thing so show some for yourself. You matter and you are loved. This too shall pass. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, I assure you because I made it out of the tunnel. When I was suicidal and at the end of my rope I didn’t know what else to do. So in a desperate attempt I simply said out loud in the middle of a really rough night the words “Jesus help me.” I’m telling you right then and there everything changed. Psalm 116 says the pains of death surrounded me and the pangs of hell laid hold of me. I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the LORD. O Lord I implore You, deliver my soul!" This is my prayer for you. You’re loved, always remember that.

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Hi Friend, thanks for sharing your story here. I know lots of us have similar feelings and struggle with the same issues. We are not alone. You seem to be incredibly aware of your emotional and mental health. Reaching out for support is an awesome step. Sending you some love.
Take care,
Satty

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It can be hard. Keep fighting everyday. Tha k you for reaching out. It really helped me. Everyone had great additions. Somedays are better than others.