Found this reaction a couple of days after losing

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Belongs to: Therapist has a Lonely Day by System of Down
Found this reaction a couple of days after losing my grandmother, who I provided hospice care for every day during the last six years of her life. We all know caregivers don’t make much money, but I never cared. I did it because i loved her

She was always there for me, and I was always there for her. Good days and bad. Now, there is just a void, and I just feel so directionless and alone.

These things happen, I guess. I’m the only one in our family having these issues with it because nobody spent as much time with her as i did. Now im just a 40-year-old dude, watching this and crying by himself. Ugh.

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It is so rare for someone to dedicate so many years caring for a relative so in-depth in the way you did! It shows you care and heart for others that you spent six years taking care of her!
You poured your life and love into her and now you’re empty because you gave everything you have.
When our cups are empty from giving our all, we can find other things to fill them. This is an amazing opportunity for you to find new purposes and passions to fill your cup. New hobbies; a career change, seeking mew environments, new friendships, there are so many things you will find that will reinvigorate and fill you! I hope you find those things.

But in this moment of pain, i hope you hold that in honor and hold space for your grief. If none of your family feels the depth of the loss like you do, you can know that you may have had a very special relationship with her. That is a special thing! Dont take that time you got to spend with her for granted!
God bless you and I pray you find things to fill your cup! Thanks for reaching out to HeartSupport!

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You did something loving and beautiful for your grandmother. Being there and taking care of her, being both a presence that offered joy and support as the same time, was absolutely priceless. That’s the true definition of unconditional love. You didn’t shy away in front of her struggles, you didn’t let any embarassement take over, you didn’t start seeing her differently. And she must have seen that every day you were there for her. In your eyes, how much you were looking up to her and loving her. These are very special moments that you have shared together, and there is no doubt that your presence has brought so much peace to her when she needed it the most.

It makes sense to feel lost now that she is gone. When we lose someone we love, a part of ourselves leaves at the same time. It feels like being a puzzle incomplete, while knowing that the missing pieces cannot be found again. So we hold on to the memory we have of how it was to feel whole with that person in our life again. How much everything made more sense, whether or not it was perfect. On top of it, your days have been structured around her needs for a significant time. Losing her is a major change in your life, but also in general in the way life used to be for you.

It’s okay to let the tears out. There’s no age limit to love - and this is about love. It’s about how much she has impacted your life in a way that has been so very significant for you. This impact and her voice will not be lost as you will keep on sharing it. It’s hard though to be the one who is still present and is forced to learn to carry this love for two. It feels like having to learn again how to live, and how to breathe.

It’s okay to take things slowly and be as patient as possible with your heart. There won’t be a wrong or good way to process your loss - only how you feel, and it will be valid at any given time.

Sending hugs your way. :heart:

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