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From almantblue: I’ve been struggling with the loss of my mind. From childhood trauma, death, injuries, relationships, isolated because the amount of trauma has made functioning difficult…I called my doc and we’re both unsure what next. I’m just taking it day by day now.
Hey almantblue, well done for taking it day by day. Really. Recovering from multiple traumas, including childhood trauma, can really be a test of patience for our heart. On one hand there is this deep desire to feel in control of your life/body/mind again as fast as possible, and at the same time you keep being confronted to obstacles along the way. It’s this constant frustration of feeling like taking 1 step forward and 3 backards, over and over again.
To me personally, working on traumatic experiences has been a tough journey of accepting the limitations I face at a given time because of the injustice of trauma. So many times I have felt so frustrated and so hopeless for feeling unsafe, anxious, panicked or depressed all over again. Flashbacks - emotional or physical -, have this way to easily put us in this very vulnerable position where it feels like the entire world is about to crush us. It’s hard to learn to be your best ally when you’re in this position, and it’s hard to see where this is all leading you to. The journey can be messy, feeling dirty, and being utterly confusing. It is challenging to accept when we don’t have the answers - yet -. And somehow this very short word, “yet”, is so important when we’re doing the work of trauma healing.
My heart goes out to you as you navigate through all the emotions and sensations that these traumatic experiences still have on you. I really want to acknowledge how brave you are for not only opening up here today, but also for seeking help with your doctor. There can be a lot of shame associated to trauma recovery, but you are not letting it prevent you from seeking support, and that in itself is SO strong. Keep taking small steps, cultivate patience with your heart and mind - you are on the right path, even if it feels like being completely lost at a new crossroad at times. What you are doing is important work, and you are SO worthy of it my friend. I believe in you very much.