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From doctorwurm_: I’ve been struggling with the loss of the relationship with my father. A little over a year ago, I walked away from that relationship. My Dad was mentally and emotionally abusive to my mom, sisters, and myself. He is also a manipulative narcissist. I’m glad I had the courage to step away from that toxic relationship, but he is still my Dad, and it hurts even more that I never had much of a father figure growing up after all.
Hey! I’m truly sorry to hear about the pain you’ve been carrying due to the loss of your relationship with your father. It takes immense strength to walk away from a toxic situation, especially when it involves a family member. Your feelings of hurt and longing for a father figure are completely valid. Remember that your well-being and happiness are of utmost importance, and prioritizing your mental and emotional health was a brave and necessary step. If you ever need someone to talk to or support, please know that I’m here for you. You’re not alone in this journey
I’m sorry you’ve grown up with your dad being mentally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes, in order to survive, we have to walk away and that’s ok. You’re allowed to and I’m so proud of you taking care of yourself. I hope you find healing and peace. You matter!
Hi Friend
I am so sorry that you have lost the relationship with your father. No one wants to be around abusive narcissistic people and I am sorry that you and your sisters had to deal with that, I cannot imagine how hard that was. I think you are so brave for making that decision. I completely understand that you hurt, you see its quite ok to love a person you dont like and yearn for the father you want your dad to be. You have been through a lot and its time to take care of yourself. Look after number 1, be there for your sisters too and make good memories now in your life that you can look back on. You have done the hard part. Good luck. x
Yes, he is still your dad, and it’s absolutely okay to feel conflicted as you are grieving this relationship. There’s what the heart feels, but there’s also what the mind knows, and those can be diametrically opposed. You have made a decision that was very healthy and fundamental for your emotional safety, but it’s also heartbreaking to come to the point of feeling like you have no choice but to create this distance with your parent. Because of their behavior, because of their lack of understanding regarding how they behave is wrong and toxic… It’s hard when there is this invisible separation between you and them. When I made the decision of not talking to my parents anymore, I felt like the worst daughter - and human being - in the world. There’s just this strong sense of loyalty that stick with me, this feeling that I should try more - and still comes in waves at times, with an overwhelming sense of guilt. Grieving a parent who is still physically alive but not emotionally available is an awful thing to go through. Grieving also the possibility of who they could - and should have been -, grieving all that never was… Words are not enough to describe the depth of it. Some nights are only about crying your soul out - and it’s okay to allow yourself to feel all of it.
As child, you wanted to be protected, loved and nurtured, and you should have been. You have definitely made a good decision there, and yes it was very courageous of you. We’re very proud of you here for standing up for your self and ensuring your safety. <3
