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From _jbb666: I have been struggling with the loss of my high school friend. He passed when I was 17, and it still hurts to this day. Talking about him, our memories and how it still makes me feel is one of the hardest thing I have to do constantly. It been 12 years now and it’s been a struggle I carried on since. I hope to heal from it one day, but I most likely will carry this pain to my grave.
Grief brings a type of pain that somehow sticks with us over time, yes. Progressively, it doesn’t take as much space in our mind every single day, but the intensity of the pain can remain as deep as it was the first day. Even when years have passed, there are days when you may feel the loss as if it was the very first time. But you may also find yourself having moments when you can think about the person without feeling like it’s impossible to catch your breath, but on the contrary through memories that can bring a smile to your face. It’s like waves of the ocean - it ebbs and flows, and strikes sometimes unexpectedly. But it follows its rhythm, and through it we may find waves of stillness and peace.
Through all of this, how you feel is completely understandable, and I hope you make sure to be very patient with your heart. Regardless of the time that has passed, how you feel at a given time is absolutely okay and to be welcomed, as healing won’t be a linear journey. Somehow, we learn to live with the absence, we compose with the silence, we integrate them in our life in ways that make sense and feel bearable.
Your friend must have been such a beautiful person and the impact they left on you is so very present. Somehow, he is still with you and you are carrying on his memory, his friendship legacy. Thank you for sharing about him, and about how this grieving process has been for you so far. One step at a time, always.
