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From josiah_t34: . I’ve been struggling heavily with losing my relationship and essentially home due to being “let go” of from a church job. The people that I trusted at this job always told me I would be safe there. I got married there by someone I believed was my friend and mentor. I looked up to this person. They looked at my father in law and told him not to worry about anything because they will protect us. I went to youth group at this church. I got hired there after college. My family lives in the area. I had a lot there. I had mentors that I looked up to greatly. Then suddenly they say “we are making a transition” and hand me a severance package. I never stepped foot in that church again. I don’t talk to the people there anymore. It’s been a year or so but it hurts every day because people don’t know what really happened. They only hear the version they are told. It was emotionally traumatizing. It got to the point where my wife and I decided to pack up and move across the country because aside from my family there was nothing there. I don’t get how Christians who claim to love Jesus can do that to someone who tried their best with the lack of resources they were given. I’m still incredibly hurt because I know the relationships that I had with the people that I trusted and loved were torn apart that day and I can never have them back. My mentor never said a word to me after that day. I just don’t understand it
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If you are looking for some closure from your old mentor, I would say reach out to them.
I don’t think religion matters. All humans are flawed, and there is good and bad in all things in the world. I think that as long as you know that you did your best in the situation, it shouldn’t matter what other peoples opinions are. Be proud in everything that you have done. Continue to do things for yourself, and for your family. I don’t think your emotions are unjustified. The grieving process from losing all those trusted relationships. I’m sure is a painful one. So you shouldn’t feel bad for feeling the feelings you are. If you ever want to share more feel free. Hope things are going better in the new place you have moved to. <3
Hey Josiah,
Thank you for responding. As Thrice said, closure hopefully would help, but the way I see it, there was definitely an impact on your life. Life is a series of moments, and people come and go. So do jobs, relationships, anything. But you had that bond, that moment of enjoyment, at that particular time and place, and it helped shape the person you are. But you can make it your own for the future. I would use this experience to better yourself and your relationships with any new people. You got a fresh start moving across the country, and you have an excellent opportunity to make the most of a new experience.
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Hi Friend, I’m sorry that you were let go from your church job. It sounds like it was pretty sudden and you were not given the grace and respect you should have gotten. I can see how much that would hurt after being a member for probably a long time, getting married there and having mentors there who you looked up to. Feels like getting the rug pulled out from under you and having no closer makes things even worse. I hope you and your wife are leaning on each other to move forward with your lives and can find peace. It’s unfortunate that you were treated this way and it sucks. You matter 
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Hi Friend, I am so very sorry that all of this happened to you and your wife, you are absolutely correct it should have not happened and even if it was time for you to go it could have been done in a far nicer way from people that said they cared for you, they were you friends and you have every right to feel that hurt and anger from that.
I would encourage you to seek some therapy for all of this, I feel like it would really help to work on your thinking and how to move forward as everyday that you wake up with anger and hurt in your heart they are still winning and you deserve so much better than that. I would love nothing more than to see you and your wife succeed in spite of those people not be miserable because of them. I hope that you can find someone to help you to work on that and please remember, they are your past now, your future is you wife and your new life and only you two can decide how you want that to work out. You matter. Lisa
Hey friend - thank you for posting on here. I totally can understand the situation and what you are going through and it definitely sucks. I’m sure it felt like the rug was pulled out right from under you especially given this church and it community was your life. People are flawed even in a church setting and sometimes group think can take hold and people will just believe whatever information they are fed or told. It seems you have tried to get closure on this and yes you are dealing with the emotional hurt from the fractured relationships and how things ended with this huge part of your life. However, I would encourage you as well to look and keep moving forward and maybe even set a boundary with how much effort you continue to invest with trying to get an explanation about what happened. This may have just been a single season in your life albeit a long one and I am sure there will be big and awesome things to come for you. Churches can be such varied and diverse communities and I hope you are able to find another one that you mesh well with.
Much love,
ctrain
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