This is a topic from INSTAGRAM. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on Instagram.
Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/41426
From koandapandala: A little over a year ago I lost my dog Lexi who was the most rad Shiba Inu and pretty much my best friend for 9 years. I watched her struggle for months at the end and had to make the very difficult choice to let her go. I sobbed for days and still consistently find myself in tears when I think about her. I had a rough childhood, suffer ptsd and panic disorder, adhd and ocd, she was always there, comforting me through every panic attack or crisis, zero judgement, zero questions, only immense love. It is insane the impact an animal can have on your life. I will forever love and miss here and cherish wholeheartedly every moment I spent with her
Our pet friends can leave such a deep and beautiful mark on our life. Somehow, when it comes to love, they are less complex than humans and they do know what unconditional love. There’s an amount of care, loyalty and love that they provide that is so beautiful and consistent. Lexi must have been such a beautiful ally for you, for 9 years, and after you’ve been through so much yourself. So thankful you got the possibility to share all of this time with her, give and receive hugs, and create good memories together.
It makes sense to feel so very impacted by her disappearance, especially as on top of it her last months have been an agony both for you and her. It’s so hard when we are left as a witness of their suffering - you want to do your best and take the pain away, but at the same time you know it’s not something in your control. I can only imagine how these last months must have been painful for you both. Having to make the difficult decision to let her go is heartbreaking, and it is completely understandable to still feel affected when you think about her.
It’s so special to get to share this time and find such ally overall. I had a rough childhood as well, and to be honest by biggest crutch was my cat! She was so sweet, calm and cuddly. Whenever I had to cry on my own and make sure I wouldn’t be heard, she would come to me, starts the purr motor and stay with me until I would calm down.
I hope that, with time, the pain of the grief will give more room to the joy of the good memories. You yourself have been a wonderful partner in life to Lexi - you gave her without a doubt so much love, so much care, and her life must have been really beautiful by your side.
