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From lilithsamhain: I lost my fiancé last year after being with him for 7. He wasn’t a great person- incredibly abuse for pretty much our entire relationship but he was disabled and I forgave it all due to it. When he passed I no longer knew who I was. I’m sad he’s gone he was my best friend. But I’m sad that I kind of died too.
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of not only this person but of yourself as well. I know that the dynamics of that kind of relationship are hard to explain to people, but it does impact you and somehow we still miss the potential of who they could have been.
It’s okay to grieve all the aspects of what’s taken place. While your experience is unique, you are not alone in this. Your heart will be going through so many feelings right now and I do hope that you have the support you deserve while both grieving and reclaiming the soul you lost in yourself.
Hi there, I’m so sorry to hear about the pain you’ve been through. It’s clear that you loved deeply and endured a difficult situation out of compassion. Losing someone, even when the relationship was complex, can be a profound loss, and it’s completely natural to feel a mix of emotions. Please remember that you are not alone on this journey of healing and rediscovery. Take all the time you need to find yourself again, and consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist. Your well-being matters, and there’s hope for brighter days ahead. 
Hello there,
As someone who has lost some special people in my life, I know for a fact that death and grief can take a huge toll on a person and changes them from how things used to be to how they are now. Take it one day at a time. Find someone that you can trust with your emotions, thoughts and feelings. I am so sorry for your loss.
Hi Friend, Thank you for posting. I am sorry for the loss of your fiance and for the loss of everything you new even if it was not what you needed or deserved. I truly hope that you have been able to get some therapy that could help you to reconnect with yourself and learn to actually love the person you are, that doesnt mean you have to forget you ex but you do deserve a life after abuse. I wish you all the very very best. Much Love Lisa. x
7 years is a very significant part of your life, and you have been investing yourself in a role of a caretaker, which is in itself very demanding - it requires a lot of your personal time, energy and focus. It makes completely sense that, despite the abuse, you miss him and his presence, and maybe even the potential of who he could have been on top of it. This is a part of your life and story that has been gone, and it’s hard to be left on your own after 7 years, wondering who you are and what you’re going to do in the future. When your identity has revolved around a person, their disappearance can make you suddenly realize how much you are a person too - but that discovering much more of who you are can be a learning process. Somehow, you may be on the edge of re-discovering yourself in a very different way, which is very frightening - it’s like having to jump into the unknown - and at the same time you are mourning an important loss in your life. When we lose someone we also lose a part of us, of our world, it simply goes away with them, and it’s understandable that you have been feeling this very vividly. You have been without a doubt a pillar of support to him over the years. Now, in the future, there is potential for a renewal for you. I wish you all the best moving forward, friend. <3