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From missaseitz: …The voices in my head say that I’m all alone with no purpose. When I look at my reality, I’m disabled. I live with my aunt because I’m poor. My son, his wife and my grandson live in Seattle which is 2,000 miles from me. My son and I don’t have a good relationship. My grandson is afraid me because I’m a stranger to him. They were home for Thanksgiving but hardly saw them and when I did it was tense with my son. My mom is dying from COPD and dementia. My dad is stressed out. I don’t have a relationship with my sister and brother. In all the loneliness I still search for purpose! Music helps me to quiet the voices but they are relentless.

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@missaseitz …I have diabetes and fibromyalgia so I live with pain every day which in turn causes depression. A long time friend of mine even pointed out that wow! I really AM alone and that I need to find something in my life to give me purpose. I lost all interest in the things that made me happy.

Melissa - it’s hard to feel like everywhere you turn, your life is in shambles. You look at your son, and you see disconnection and strain. You see joy that could be but isn’t. You look at your living situation and finances and see disappointment. You look at your family relationships and feel distant. You could go on and on, and the problem isn’t just what you see “out there”, but the battles you face internally. To be in constant pain, to be unable to escape it, or find any relief - it just feels like there’s never a break. So your life gets smaller and smaller because the pain takes up more and more of your life, and it just feels like you wake up and find yourself in this hole you can’t see the top of, and you have no idea how to climb out of. I mean- what am I supposed to do? Where would I even start? It all feels so overwhelming. Fixing one thing feels pointless because there’s just so much broken.

@heartsupportwall4 … You hit the nail on the head! Idk where to start! I take day by day and know that things are just what they are. I can’t change people or their circumstances to fit what I want it to be. I realize a lot but it’s the dealing with it that’s the hardest part. Thanks for the reply!