This is a topic from INSTAGRAM. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on Instagram.
Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/36235
From no_maker_made_me: My anxieties would have been when others have unrealistic expectations of me, and being around large groups of people for me is extremely difficult, sometimes it gets so bad I cry, feeling like I’m going to pass out.
Hey friend, thanks so much for sharing here. it sounds like the anxiety in your mind quickly becomes physical when you’re in a big group of people. Your anxiety tells you that you’re letting down each person in the room in some way, that you’re not meeting their expectations, and that feels like each person is putting a led block on your chest. It feels crushing, suddenly it becomes hard to breathe, you feel like you are going to pass out, and there is nothing left to do but cry. It’s a horrible feeling, and so much pressure both internally and externally. It feels like you can’t show up as yourself because your anxiety is always telling you that’s not enough. I imagine this makes it really hard to want to even try. I hope that you will keep trying though, and keep reaching out in places where who you are is more than enough. This is one of those places.
Yeah, sometimes it just feels like falling…like you just can’t…it’s like you feel this feeling, and then you think - in like a split second - forward to not being able to manage that feeling and how horrible it can become, and then it spirals very quickly downward. It’s hard to manage because it happens so fast, and then you’re totally overcome by these feelings. The unrealistic expectations feels similar in that you get overtaken by this feeling of - I can’t do it, I am going to fail at this, I’m going to disappoint this person/these people. It feels like it can cripple your ability to move forward, like you just get halted, like someone pulls the emergency brakes on your ability to function, and you just shut down.
It’s so hard to feel like someone else is in control of your body, your mind like that. For you to feel at the mercy of this invader who can just rip this cord and shut you down…it’s so hard. Feels like each time it happens, the feelings get more and more intense, creeping closer and closer to panic.
I can relate in a lot of ways to these feelings. Sometimes the fear of disappointing others / not being able to meet expectations powers me down in the same way, and whatever momentum I had just screeches to a halt. It’s like kryptonite - when I get around it, all sense of energy or purpose or ability just melt away.
You’re definitely not alone. And I appreciate you sharing here. I think verbalizing our anxieties is an excellent step to reducing their effect on us. When we share about these things, it gives us fresh hope and possibility that things can get better, that these fears are outside of us, and not a part of us, and that we can grow to one day overcome them instead of being overcome by them. Thank you for sharing.
@heartsupport 
==========