That line, to me, always felt like getting all that rage out, spitting out all this ichor, the anger and the sorrow, to the people that caused me harm…
And yet, I’m still angry.
I called out my enemies, spat my wrath on each and every one of their faces…
And at the end, I still have all this rage inside me that I don’t know where to put, all this vitriol, and nowhere to direct it.
I am so mad, so angry, so wrathful, that I’ve run out of people to curse out.
When we feel like we’ve done everything. We’re spoken to those who wronged us. We’ve tried to make things better. We should be happy. Or, at least, okay?
And yet, as you mention, we’re still angry. And yet now it’s harder because we don’t know what to do with it – we don’t have the closure we seek. So, the anger grows.
There aren’t any easy answers for these sorts of challenges, but I hope you know we’re here for you and there are resources available if you’d interested in them, though time can also sometimes be the best medicine.
I’m wishing you all the best and hope, one day, “Fuck me, I’m all out of enemies” turns into “Hell yeah, I don’t need any enemies”.
Hey thanks for reaching out,
It sounds like you’re frustrated and I’m always here to lend an ear and listen
Emotions like that usually leave us questioning ourselves and it’s important to remember that anger is a totally valid emotion to have and it’s important to find healthy ways to express that anger.
Going through things like that is tough and I’m proud of you for facing these challenges head-on. Sometimes the answers we need end up being hard to reach and I’m here for you.
I hope that you have brighter days ahead<3
You described this so perfectly. The anger resulting from hurt feels like holding a weapon that needs a direction, a place to go to, otherwise it feels like it burns you from the inside and consume you. It’s this powerful explosion of energy that needs to be noticed and have an effect, especially on the ones who have hurt you in the first place. But at some point, once you’ve expressed all that you need to the people that wronged you, you realize that the anger remains and may have not reduced one bit. It’s like there’s an impermanent dark hole in you, and the more you dig in, the deeper it gets. It needs to be fed more and more and fuels itself from the energy it gains.
Man, I feel this with you, and with all my heart. Learning to compose with injustice has been a tumultuous and recurring them for me, and now that I’ve removed from my life the people who’ve hurt me the most, I’m left with this internal scream that feels so raw sometimes and just need a freaking place to go to. It’s so hard to face this feeling of injustice and being wronged over and over. It’s not like it happened once and is an isolated even that belongs to the past. You still have to deal with the memory of it, you still have to learn how to compose with this reality, and how to make your peace. It’s such a challenging, intense journey, although hopefully one that can only lead us to meet ourselves at a deep and strong level in the long run.
May you find peace, at your own pace, and learn how to fuel this anger in ways that would be both healthy and healing for you. You deserve to feel a sense of closure, one day, no matter what it would look like for you. Hold fast, friend.