I don;t think that I’m the typical person who uses this chat room. But, I put on a strong face for everyone…and I just need to let out my real feelings. I’m a woman in my mid-fifties who is married with adult children. I have a stable marriage, and home. I have spent my whole life working in social services helping other people. I get temporary joy from helping others. Then, when I am alone…I become overwhelming sad, for no particular reason. No one in my family or friends has a clue how often I cry alone…
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This hit me to my core. You are not alone. Welcome to the support wall, we’re glad you’re here.
I am proud of you for sharing that and being honest. Sometimes just admitting it, even to online strangers, can be hard. It sounds like you’ve got some amazing things going on in your life and it seems like you’ve found a truly amazing line of work. That’s all awesome! But it is still ok to feel sad, and it’s ok to not know the reason.
Sometimes we focus so much on what people will think. It’s ok to let people see you cry, especially your family. The vulnerability can be terrifying, but it can also be freeing. Chance are they’ve got some hurts and burdens that they’re keeping to themselves as well. People need other people. We aren’t meant to go through life on our own.
I’m happily married, no kids. I love my husband and I know he loves me… and over all life is good, but I still battle depression. At first I never wanted to let my husband see that because I was afraid he would think it meant I didn’t feel loved or like he wasn’t enough. I didn’t want my emotions and mental health to affect him. I tried to keep it to myself and be strong because I didn’t want to bother anyone. That’s not healthy! I’ve gotten better at being honest with myself and my hubby. Those tough conversations need to happen. Let your family support you. They can’t be there for you in the dark places when they don’t even know that you’re there. Let them in when you’re ready.
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You’re definitely not alone. As a husband, I feel like I can’t show those moments of vulnerability. I’ve always gotta be strong, but there are moments where being strong and holding those negative feelings in truly is the hardest thing to do. However, everyone is human and, above a lot of other things, we just want people to relate to be able to relate to us. So please, don’t be afraid or have an aversion to sharing and showing that side more, because I’m sure that the people that love you would want to support you through that.
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I bottle up my emotions. Just about a month ago, everything spilled out and it did not stop for a while. That feeling of not having control is hard. When I talked to my family about it, I felt so much better. Everything @amandaruthart said is true… When you feel ready to talk to a family member or close friend, it could help lift your spirits. Stay strong 
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Hey @scully, you’re not alone and you being here makes this community so much stronger. Hold fast, friend.
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