Getting Worse again

Tw: depression, suicidal ideation

Hi. I hope you are all doing well. I have been living in a psychic ward for the last two weeks after i had tried to end myself. I have been getting better or at least i thought so. Today was ok i guess but in the evening i have been having suicidal thoughts again. I dont know. Right now i dont feel like living at all. Maybe tomorrow will be better but idk. I am supposed to be released next week but i am afraid to go back. A part of me wants to go back home but the other really doesnt. I am also not afraid of dying so the line has been already crossed. I am just wenting here i guess.



Hey friend, im so glad you are still here after an attempt. Im sure that is extremely rough so i am sorry you are going through that. I understand your fear of leaving. You probably have some level of safety or you feel safe there. Id say be honest with the staff, let them know your concerns and be honest about the suicidal thoughts. I hope you are doing better!


Hey Ashwell,
SarahK responded to your topic live on YouTube.

Here is a link to the video so you can hear their response!


Hey @Ashwell,

How are you doing since your last post? Would love to hear some updates for you. No obligation though - I know it can be exhausting.

Know that we care about you, even with a distance and from other parts of this world. :hrtlegolove:


Hi.Thanks for asking Micro. I am currently home. On bigger dose of antidepressants. Currently I am doing better i guess. I am working on some things in life and it is not going to be easy plus even though things are getting better and i dont fell guilty and sad most of the time I still feel numb almost every day. My desire to die is weakened but my desire to live is not very big either. I just dont want to do much in life. Little interests me anymore. I am also somewhat irritable by small things. Phone ringing or the ring of a bell. So i guess this is my current state. Just Numb and irritable.

Once again thanks for asking. I hope you are doing well. I have read some of your posts and i know you are also struggling with depression and mental health. I wish you good luck and happier tomorrows. Bye.


Hi @Ashwell

The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post here.

Hold fast friend, and lean on our community.

  • John

Thank you for the update, Ashwell. Just being on a bigger dose of antidepressants can have its own effects, like what you describe, but I’m not sharing anything new - you know all of this already. I hope your body and your mind will adapt to this new dosage in a very gentle way, but also quick enough for you to feel some relief. I’m grateful that you are here and that you keep trying. I’m thinking of you, sending healing vibes, and hope this season of numbness and irritability won’t last too long for you.

Thank you as well for the kind words. We’re indeed on the same boat. You’re not alone. :hrtlegolove:

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