From jordanhighbloom: my depression and panic disorder came back full force over the past couple of months. I started CBT and exposure therapy and I’ve been getting worse and worse but I know that this is going to help build the foundation I need to be able to live with it. I used to ignore it and numb myself as well. It made it “easier” for the time being. Then those thoughts became subliminal and I would get set off at random times into a full blown panic attack thinking “this is the end”. Because of how bad it’s been recently, I’ve lost all enjoyment in the things that I love and it’s been effecting relationships. I’m super open about my mental health and tell people what’s going on but sometimes I feel like it isn’t enough and they think it’s deeper than just me being in a bad place. All in all, I know it will pass and take time to pass but this shit isn’t easy
Hey friend, you are right: this shit isn’t easy!! And I have the utmost respect for your strength and courage of choosing to heal despite the pain. Some days it feels like walking through hell, to feel every little scratch and burn, to wonder « do I have any control here? Do I make this? » and every breath feels hurtful and minute feels eternal. But, from what I read, you do it. To give yourself a shot at a healthier life, a happier life, you choose better. And like building up a muscle, you choose the tension and pain to get stronger, to get better. Which is nothing less than what you deserve as a beautiful human. Keep going, you deserve that healing, those days will pass, you are right about that, keep walking, my friend, the other side of this pain is waiting for you, I wish you beauty and peace within your mind. Good luck! 
@jordanhighbloom From emmanuellerayne: Hey friend, you are right: this shit isn’t easy!! And I have the utmost respect for your strength and courage of choosing to heal despite the pain. Some days it feels like walking through hell, to feel every little scratch and burn, to wonder « do I have any control here? Do I make this? » and every breath feels hurtful and minute feels eternal. But, from what I read, you do it. To give yourself a shot at a healthier life, a happier life, you choose better. And like building up a muscle, you choose the tension and pain to get stronger, to get better. Which is nothing less than what you deserve as a beautiful human. Keep going, you deserve that healing, those days will pass, you are right about that, keep walking, my friend, the other side of this pain is waiting for you, I wish you beauty and peace within your mind. Good luck!
@heartsupportwall I needed to hear that so bad @emanuellerayne thank you so much! I hope you have a wonderful week 
@jordanhighbloom re-read as needed! It was my pleasure, Have a great week!