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Hanging on

This is my first post on this forum. I recently found out about this website through a youtube video. This might be a bit lengthy. My father left me and my mom when I was 5 and rather than taking care of me he took care of his mistress’ child. I had no one but my mom. I was always my moms prized possession. She would do everything for me. But as I grow older and started having my own opinions and decisions my mom’s love became conditional. If my decisions and opinions are not the same as hers She would guilt trip me and not help me in anyway at all. She didnt like the first major i was planning to choose so she completely ignored me, made me feel bad for it and was completely disinterested in what I was planning to do. When i changed my mind and chose a major that would financially benefit her, she was on my side and she wanted to help and couldnt be more proud. There was also something that happened regarding my weight. She would always praise me for my looks, wouldnt let me go out to the grocery or to the doctors without makeup. But once she noticed i was gaining weight, she would take candid photos of me and show it to her friends. She would show me the comments from her friends saying I look bad and that my mother looks better than me. Everyday, she would call me fat and force me to eat less. I have more stories about my mother and I but i dont want to bother anyone. I just want someone to talk to

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Oh dear. I have a vain, narcissistic mother too. I know she loves me, but keeping up facades is top priority to people like that and they’ll stoop to cruelty to maintain appearances. My best advice (for now, it’s late and I’m about to sleep) is do whatever you can to become independent from her, at least psychologically. Be your own person, dont let her decide who you should be. The only decision she has the power to make is whether she’ll love you, whoever you are.

…What Youtube video, if you don’t mind me asking?

I didnt even realize she was narcissistic until you told me! Thank you so much for this response it helps knowing that someone is going through a similar thing because I feel alone. Im in the process of learning how to be independent its hard because she babied me my whole life she wants to do everything for me and wants everything her way. And It was a youtube video from Kitboga! A scambaiter

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:slight_smile: I am here for the first time because of that video too. It was heart-wrenching.

I would like to talk and more importantly listen to you over the next few days.

Stay strong. Be who you wanna be. Mom will have to adapt.

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We will keep in touch for sure! Have a good night and stay well rested! Thank you!!

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