Hard life

My dad just got surgery done and he has been in a lot of pain since he got back. I’ve been trying to help him but it has been a lot to deal with. I know he’s is in pain and needs my help, but I’m not the greatest when it comes to helping him. Every time he yells for me I feel like I’m going to cry and start having a panic attack. I literally start shaking and breaking down balling my eyes out. I’m so mad also at the same time for I think the hospital dispatched him too early.I’m about to give up and just scream then cry to the point till I waste all my tears.


Hi Ricky it’s OK friend, it’s so hard to care for someone who is in pain, I am sure you are doing your very best.
He is shouting because he is in pain and frustrated not because of anything you are doing wrong it’s just you happen to be there, please try not to take it to heart.
Is it possible to call a friend or family member to come and help or give you a break? Try to step away when you can and take a breather Ricky, I am sorry you are dealing with this on your own but you can come and talk to us when ever you want. You are loved x

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If he is still in a lot of pain, I think he may need to call his doctor so he can arrange proper pain management. My boyfriend had surgery not too long ago, so I can relate to what you are going thru. It’s not easy to take care of someone and even worse when they aren’t a good patient.

Why do you think you get so shaky and feel like you’re going to break down?

I just never taken care of someone after surgery and it’s kinda stressing and I’m kinda stressing out and it hurts me seeing my dad in pain so much it makes me cry. I lost my mom years ago and I don’t wanna lose him too. I’m emotionally disabled and sometimes can’t handle things like this

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I only have my brother who is usually busy with kids and sometimes doesn’t have time to take care of our dad so I’m mostly stuck with taking care of him till he gets his home nurse to come down

Since last November, my boyfriend has been thru two surgeries for his shoulder and I’ve had to be literally his right arm. I’m not emotionally stable either and I worry tons, so I understand what you are going thru 100%. Whenever I see him move his arm, this panic pain would shoot thru my body.

I realized that I have to put my own insecurities and fears to the side if I want to help him have a good experience with this and not be stressed seeing me break down every time he asks for something. I want to break down, run away and never come back… but, I can’t so I just put my head down and do what I have to do. Then, I go burry my face in my pillow and cry.

This isn’t easy and I respect you for trying.

Thanks it’s been a lot but I’m learning to be strong every time I help him. I sometimes wanna breakdown crying and hide forever but I have to be here for him till his home nurse comes up to see him

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Its hard enough when you are feeling ok yourself I totally understand that, I had to take care of my mum after surgery, I love my mum more than anything and she was so good at being a patient but it was still very hard to do and incredibly stressful trying to know what to do for the best. To have that and that fear you are having of losing your dad must be so frightening for you, I am so sorry you lost your Mum. Have a chat to the nurse or to your Dads doctor if you want to find out how he is doing to try and allay your fears and put your mind at rest. Also it may be an idea when you do have some time to yourself to maybe have some therapy of your own to try to help with your anxiety.
As @Mystrose has said she has been doing an amazing job caring for her partner since he had surgery but she too needs to care for herself more and that is what I advise you to do if you can find someone who can take over at least one day a week then that would be a good thing so you can take care of you. xx

Thanks I’m feeling better now that I’ve talk to my therapist this afternoon. She told me to stay near my dad so he needs help he doesn’t have to yell so loud to get my attention. So I’ve decided to sleep in the room next to his and keep my ears open to hear for him until he heals for a while. My stress level is not that high right now plus sleeping close will help us both through out the healing process.


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