I want to harm myself again so badly, Im obsessed. I cant do anything else, i dont want anything else, i just want to harm myself until theres nothing left of me. I want to make myself in pieces.
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Hi @Brian137,
I have a few questions for you because I wanted to know why you feel a certain way. It doesn’t bother me, just trying to understand!
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Did something happen today at home or school or work or friend or some place? There has to be something that triggers to harm yourself. Sometimes we act super emotional due to a negative or positive event.
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Why are you obsess harming yourself? I could imagine how painful it if I did to myself. You are being to harsh on mental & physical health.
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Do you know someone near you to support during these hard times? If you don’t, HeartSupport and I are trying my best to support the best you can.
I don’t want my friend to hurt themselves. What makes you happy besides harming yourself? I like to listen music and watch Korean dramas from Netflix. What are hobbies or goals stuff that I need to complete? It can be doing laundry or walking outside for 5-10 minutes. Sometimes you need to be positive to yourself. Go to look at a mirror or write a journal about what traits that makes you unique. You don’t have to do these task but something that help bring some confidence about yourself . These negative thoughts can lead to make you feel low-self esteem about yourself. It’s totally normal for to have a best or horrible day. Don’t let that horrible day stops you something that you enjoy. Life is too short to hurt yourself.
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Hey friend,
I want to thank you for sharing your post and lettings us know what you’re dealing with.
I want you to know that all of us here at HeartSupport are here for you and gladly listen to you when you need us.
I think @toastaintbad hits on some really good questions. Though, to add to it, I think it’s really important for people to know as much as they can with what they deal with. I personally deal with BPD, ADHD, and overall neurodivergency. The thing that’s helped me deal with these things the best is to educate myself as to what the heck is going on in my head so I can live a better and more fulfilling life.
Maybe take a look at this article and ask yourself, and maybe answer to this post some of the things that stick out to you as significant to you?
Either way, while I’m proud of you for reaching out to HS, I want to encourage you to reach out for professional help. Those of us who work in the mental health space do it because we’re normally people that have gone through what those we help go through. We’ve been through the pain and don’t want to see others suffer the way we suffered. What I’m getting at with this is that I know there can be a million reasons why you wouldn’t talk to a professional about this kind of thing, but I think you’d be suprised to find out that these people help because they want others to live a fullfilling and happy life.
Stay strong friend. Be kind to yourself. Keep your head up and know we’re here for you.
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Thank you for sharing this with us. It can be difficult to share this type experience especially when you don’t think others understand.
It seems that there’s nothing you can do to stop the desire to self-harm, and the thought of if is probably taking most of your waking hours. I know that this can be a difficult thing to stop, but you don’t have to do it alone. There is no shame here if you self-harm, and I know there are members of this community that can share their experience with similar struggles.
Know that you are loved. You are worthy of that love just by being. Even when you don’t want there to be anything left of yourself, you are still a valuable person.
Hold Fast.
Hi @Brian137
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable with us. I want to echo everything @I-Am-Reclaimer and @tromboness said and let you know that speaking up about your experience and your story is a step in the right direction. You are not alone, and you matter. You deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life, which could mean all sorts of things. I want to encourage you to pour all of your energy into doing good things for yourself. Maybe thats finding a new hobby, teaching yourself a new skin, cutting your hair, changing up your style—something that is fun for you. Although I do not know much about you, I want to encourage you to give yourself a chance, because you deserve it. I think seeking professional help and reaching out to a trusted adult or friend is a good place to start. Always know that Heart Support is a safe place for you. We will always be here to support you in any way we can. <3
I dont want a happy fulfilling life. I dont want any love. I want to harm myself and not have to explain why. Its my one desire, i dont want anything else. I dont care about pain. I just wanna do it indefinitely without being thrown into a mental hospital, so i can do it over and over again until my body gives in and dies.
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It sounds very frustrating to have a very deep urge and to feel like you have to justify yourself.
It sounds like you are in some emotional pain and want to be able to express that physically. Like it’ll feel like a relief to not fight the inner monologues all day every day.
I am sorry that you are fighting against those urges and that it’s so so heavy.
I know it’s frustrating to feel like people don’t fully understand, and maybe some people can’t fully understand, but here is a space to explore alternatives to harm.
If you’re in a place where you are not ready to hear advice or alternative suggestions to harm, that’s okay, you have a right to ask people to refrain and just lend a listening ear.
When you are ready though, the suggestions of professional support don’t necessarily mean that you’re going to go to an inpatient facility.
It can mean exploring the urges you have further and finding a root cause, and it can mean finding a healthy coping mechanism that works for you because the person you are working with gets to know you more personally.
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