So my grandpa(moms dad) is dying of cancer I flew out to see him. He’s been very snappy today and it hurt my feelings. I went to call my other grandma(dads mom) and vent because I was frustrated and she started belittling me and upset me so I got mad at her and told her I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. She had my dad call me and he started jumping on my ass blaming me without getting my side of the story and I got mad at him and hung up. As soon as I get off the phone with him someone messaged me to tell me that my ex (dated for over 6 years and we’re engaged until she cheated on me in December) is pregnant by her new boyfriend. I just feel overwhelmed. I feel like I’m going crazy and none of my family is being empathetic at all. I had to call my 2 best friends to get any consolation at all. And people keep blowing up my messages about her being pregnant and I have to keep telling them I don’t want to talk about it. I’m just burnt out I feel like I’m living my worst nightmare. I don’t know what to do.
Oh wow that fucking sucks. I can feel through your words the exasperation of feeling like no one is safe.
I’m glad you still had your 2 best friends to talk through it with.
As for the others telling you about your ex, maybe it’s meant to bring you some schadenfreude. Maybe they think they’re the first ones to tell you and you can share a vindictive laugh together. They have no way of knowing how much it’s tearing you up, but that doesn’t stop it from happening. I’m not sure what the best solution is there. The best I can come up with right now is temporarily blocking or Do Not Disturbing all numbers except those you actually want or need to talk to so you can get a breather. You need to find a way to reclaim communication on your terms and find some space to process and grieve, or else it will sink you.
Keep coming back here. This space is safe. We have lots of big shoulders for you to lean on
I’m so sorry that your family is going through that heavy pressure. I’m sure the pain and the worry could make someone snap. I know at times when I am unwell or upset I can tend to lash out or say things I don’t mean. I do hope you can talk to him and let each other know that you love each other and let him know you want to be there for him.
Life is a precious moment.
Sounds like your friends are really great support in your life. It’s always important to have those people by your side.
It sucks so much that people like to talk about situations and people who have been a root of hurt in your life. I think some times people get carried away with the “excitement” of gossip or maybe they get carried away thinking that this is something that is negatively effecting her and that it would make you happy to hear. As sheetmetal suggested it could be an idea to silence messages or even just tell them that you don’t want to be involved in talking about that subject.
I hope you’re feeling better and a new day will help you feel refreshed.
thank you for reaching out.
going through the progress with someone dying with cancer is so difficult, so much that is affecting you. see that situation from another perspective. i lost people to cancer, i would love them to be snappy at me once more.
to talk to them once more. spend time with them again.
with your ex, i would just give a shit about that talk. people will always talk about what is not affecting them.
you can not change that. you are over with that, so let them talk. you are better then that.
she cheated on you ? that is the worst. i am sorry for that. not your fault.
talk to your grandpa in a calm mood and listen to him.
you are loved and you matter most. feel hugged
That does sound like a dreadful day indeed and I hope since then things have calmed a little and you have managed to catch your breath.
I am very very sorry about your Grandpa, I am sure he was grateful that you took the time to go and visit him, unfortunately when you are sick sometimes you are not always in control of how you respond to people, feelings of illness, tiredness and frustration at being sick can bring out a snappy persona, but I dont think for a moment he meant anything by it. I am sorry that was followed up by others then belittling you and friends thinking they were helping you by giving you details about your ex that you didnt need to hear. I am not at all surprised that you are overwhelmed by it all. I would encourage you to turn off your phone for a while and just take a breather, relax and just do something else. All this is just too much for one person to handle. take a break be kind to yourself and if you havent left your grandpa on good terms, you could call him and tell him all is ok and that you love him too if you wanted. I hope things calm down for you. One thing about your worst day is that it can only get better from here. x