Have you ever felt stuck in a hole?

So right now, I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she fell into the rabbit hole and didn’t know where she was going. I’ve been stuck in this phase of my life for about a year now, but the feeling of dread comes and goes. Recently, it has intensified, and I feel like my social life has completely evaporated. I used to be someone who was constantly around people or always on the phone with friends, but through all this chaos, I realized I wasn’t focusing on the most important person in my life: myself.

My routine was so off, constantly gardening and never sober. I barely spent time with myself and always used going out as a distraction from being alone with my thoughts. I didn’t realize that through this distraction, I was drowning myself in toxic friendships, habits, and a negative cycle. What’s crazy is that I felt happy and like I had things to look forward to. Now that I’ve set boundaries and am taking care of myself, I’ve developed a somewhat healthier lifestyle.

This new lifestyle has left me feeling very lonely. I am no longer interested in the things I used to do, and this lack of interest has caused all those so-called “friends” to step out of my life. I guess you could say it’s a blessing in disguise when people walk out because the real ones always stay. But even my three best friends, who have been with me for the last seven years, seem to be meeting new people and having exciting things come their way. When I talk to them, I feel like I’m sucking the energy out of them. My best friend, whom I consider a sister, seems to have disqualified me from her life. I don’t feel like I add value to her life the way I used to, and she’s always busy. I’ve communicated how I feel to her, and she says things will always be the same, but it just doesn’t feel that way.

On top of all this, my parents are struggling with financial issues. They try to sugarcoat it, but I know things aren’t looking good. I want to travel back home this summer, but my dad says it isn’t a priority right now, which adds to my depression because I don’t want to stay where I am. My dad says he’ll figure it out. My “boyfriend” isn’t in the same country as me, and we’re doing long distance. We met almost a year ago, and he’s expecting me to visit him this summer, but I can’t bring myself to tell him about my family’s financial issues.

I’m graduating college in less than a year, with only one semester to go, but I don’t feel driven to do anything. Usually, I am, but with all this stuff piling up—loans to pay, my parents’ financial issues, social issues, and feeling suffocated—it’s hard to be excited about the future and plan accordingly. My roommate, who is technically my only friend here, has been very moody since her brother died almost six months ago. I have to act based on her mood. I don’t feel like I can talk to her about anything, and although I’m always willing to listen, she makes me feel like a burden to live with sometimes, and I hate it.

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Hey @honey40!

Welcome to HeartSupport, we’re so glad you’re here!

I can totally relate with you on the whole Alice in Wonderland aspect, that’s for sure! The good news is that you’ve already taken some big steps towards a better life by recognizing what wasn’t working and taking care of yourself. That’s awesome! But it’s okay to feel lonely or sad when things change, even if the changes are good.

I would definitely suggest a few things, especially based on personal experience. Do things you enjoy, like reading, spending time in nature, or starting a new hobby. It will help you stay strong during this tough time. When it comes to your friends, let them know you’re feeling lonely and want to spend more time with them. Good communication is key to any relationship.

And that leads into your relationship with your boyfriend and with your parents. Talk to your parents about their financial situation and explain to your boyfriend why you might not be able to visit him. Honesty is the best policy.

You’re graduating college soon, which is a huge accomplishment! Let that be your motivation to keep going. You CAN get through this. Remember, this is just a temporary phase. It’s a chance to grow, discover new things, and create a life that truly makes you happy. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your wins, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. You’ve got this!

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Hello @honey40!
First of all, I would like to give you a hand clap of praise for realizing that you needed to make a change in your life and not only did you realize it, you actually became proactive and did something about it. The upside to making a positive change in your life is that it reveals the truth about people that are around you, although it may be difficult to let go of long-term friendships you have to accept the fact that even though you will aways have love for these people life may be taking you guys in a different direction. Moreover, when it comes to your boyfriend tell him the truth about what you are going through, hopefully he will understand because the key to any healthy relationship is honesty and communication. I am going to end this message by telling you that you are strong, and you have the ability to overcome all of the obstacles that you are facing just keep focusing on enhancing your lifestyle and keep going because I know that you can do this honey40!!!