I hear voices and I feel like I’m alone in this struggle. They are not trying to get me to do things or to hurt people. They seem to attack me in personal ways sometimes. I can make them stop for a little while by asking them to go away. I hear them through tapping my feet and fingers or hands sometimes. Other times they just come out of the blue… They tell me I’m not good enough or I’ll never be wanted. They say things like your a bad dad and your son deserves better than you. They tell me that people don’t need me. Sometimes they disguise themselves as people I know. I’m looking for people that know what it’s like to hear these things.
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Hey @unclebird71,
Thank you so much for being here and sharing about what you’re going through.
I never experienced this personally, but I had a friend who was dealing with voices that she was hearing almost everyday. From an outsider perspective, it was a bit difficult to interact sometimes and be 100% aware of what she was experiencing, but somehow the fact that she knew she could talk about it if needed was a bit helpful to her. At least, to take a step back from it and not feeling trapped all the time in her own mind.
From what they shared with me, it was mostly voices telling her/pushing her to do precise things (mostly violent things), voices making her doubt about a bunch of things (mostly about how to interpret others reactions and behaviors) and also voices saying hateful things about herself. She told me once that sometimes she could hear different things at the same time so she wasn’t able to understand what was said, it was more like a hubbub of mixed and annoying sounds. She also had many moments when it was just quiet. She told me certainly too many times that she was crazy, but it wasn’t true. She was just handling a different reality than mine, and talking about it helped me to understand her reality and to try to help, at least as I could at the moment.
As her and I were homeless at the moment, she didn’t have the occasion to see a doctor and receive a diagnosis and explanations that would have been helpful to her. So if you can consider that, I can only encourage you to reach out to a doctor and to talk about it. It can be scary to do that but you won’t be judged. And it’s important not to stay alone with that kind of thing. Just because it can be overwhelming to deal with those voices all by yourself. When you talk about it you allow yourself to take a step back and not to be drained entirely. I hope sharing here is the very first step for you to reach out to a professional if it’s not already the case. You’re definitely not the only one on earth to deal with that kind of thing. 
Also just in case… I hope that you know that it doesn’t make you weird or crazy. I am aware that there’s a lot of taboo around this kind of subject, a lot of misunderstandings in our society and wrong representations. And I just wanted to remind you that you’re worthy of love and to be shown that you are cared for, regardless of those voices and regardless of what they’re telling you. If you feel overwhelmed sometimes, try to have some visual reminders around you to ground yourself (for example, a bracelet with a warm color), to focus on your physical sensations, to close your eyes and “look” at those voices just as what they are: voices, and not a physical nor permanent reality.
Hold fast.
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Hi friend. There was a point in my life when I was in my 20s where I was dealing with something similar. I battled with paranoia and visual hallucinations. It was really hard on me. I think in a time like this the best thing you can possibly do for yourself is reach out to a hotline or even a therapist. Who can connect you to resources that could best help you.
Remember, these things are not true. These voices. You ARE good enough. You deserve to be loved and wanted. By yourself and others. You do NOT have to go through life alone and through these struggles and I hope that you don’t ever listen to the thoughts and voices that tell you to hurt yourself. I know how hard life can be sometimes but don’t do that.
Maybe when these thoughts and voices start to kick in you can find some good music to listen to and just turn it up. Or maybe a happy movie or TV show. Something that feels good and kinda distracts from these things. Meditation could be really helpful.
There are lots of videos on youtube of meditation audio. You should check those out. There is also an app called HeadSpace! Worth looking into. Good for mindfulness. You could also check out the website for rainymood. Nice relaxing and calming music that often helps me.
Heart Support also has a 7 day free trial for BetterHelp which is online counseling. Maybe even if just for the 7 free days this could be of help to you. It helped me. Having someone I could just talk to. You can just text someone in a private space with an assigned therapist OR you can schedule a phone call. Totally worth trying <3 Its free, so why not?
Friend I hope and pray that you find healing in all of this and that you are able to find comfort in healthy ways. I also hope that you are able to find the strength and courage to reach out if you need to. Here is a link to some resources that may be able to help you: https://heartsupport.com/resources/
Stay strong
- Kitty
Thank you for your kind words and help…
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Thank you for helping me… sometimes things seem grim.
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I understand. But Im proud of you for reaching out. That’s a start. <3