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@heartsupport Cancer has turned my life upside down for the past three years
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Hey my friend. I am so terribly sorry to hear about your fight against cancer and the effect it’s had on your life. I can imagine the questions that come up, the existential fear and worry. On top of all of the worries life already throws your way. I imagine that can feel like it’s too much sometimes.
You were saddled with something you didn’t ask for. It sucks - to put it mildly.
If it’s ok, how have you been coping since you were diagnosed? May I ask what that process has looked like, if it isn’t too much?
Thank you for being here. Thank you for opening up. For allowing us a moment to be in a small portion of this difficulty with you. I hope you’re safe and Ill keep you in my thoughts.
@heartsupport I’m not the one with cancer. It’s my Mom. I’ve been taking care of her for the past 2 years. She is in remission now Thank God. But long story short for me I had to go from working full time to working part-time. Had to put my life on hold for her. Which of course I don’t mind at all. I live life within my needs and not my wants. But material things and such don’t mean nothing to me. To see her almost die many times and be with her while she got chemo made me a more humblei person. During this time though there have been Family and Friends that have been diagnosed or passed from this disease. I understand my journey is to. help others but to see them suffer. 
Oh, friend - it’s a relief to hear that your mom is in remission now! I’m so very sorry for your losses though. It is such a brutal position to be in: witnessing people you love suffering and disappearing repeatedly. It makes you feel completely helpless and powerless when you’re in the middle of this situation.
There is no doubt that you want to help with all your heart - and you have been doing it so beautifully for your mom -, and beyond all of it the strongest force you certainly brought to her is your presence. Your heart, your care. You truly have been making a diffenrece, and I hope you hold on to that truth when it feels all overwhelming.
It makes to feel like your life has known a complete turnaround though. I can only imagine how it must feel like there’s been a before and an after. And on this other side, you are trying to figure out what to do with the broken pieces, how to keep on going without some of the people you love the most, how to embrace life when feeling like none of this ever made sense. Not only what you’ve been experiencing has changed your life in very practical ways, but it also leave such a huge impact at such a deep emotional level. After losing my brother and seeing him sick for months (to a genetic illness), it took me a couple of years to realize how much losing him changed my entire world. It felt, and still feel sometimes, like I had been forced by life itself to become a new person and reconsider everything I deemed normal or stable before. It’s scary to re-learn how to live when the ghost of death has marked your life and shown you how fragile it can be.
It might take time, but you will find your way through this “middle” season in your life, my friend. To reach a place where it will not feel like you only lost, but also that you can keep on building. I hope these days you can dedicate time and attention to yourself too. Doses of self-care, of doing things that bring you joy or give your heart some peace. You are beautiful and deserve all the best. Patience, love, care. <3
-Micro, Heartsupport Staff