I live far away from any family or childhood friends. I often feel lonely and really struggle to make friends despite having a lot of acquaintances. I don’t drink or go to clubs so it’s difficult to meet new people outside of work.
4 Likes
Can you talk to your childhood friends online? I know it isn’t the same as in person visits, but it does help. I spend a couple of hours a week video chatting with my family on both Skype and Facebook. I was like you, and still am, but it’s different because now I’m married. The only childhood friends I had were very short term because we moved a lot. I didn’t stay in touch with any of them. As a single adult, I didn’t have close friendships because like you, I didn’t go to clubs/bars or whatever. Fortunately, I was okay with just working and living with my pets.
Man, it’s crazy how much people rely on going out to socialise and make friends. Incredibly I have found quite a few friends who don’t drink at all, and some of them like going out on weekends, some of them just like catching up to go for a walk or have a coffee ect. I hope you come across some people who are like minded as well and can enjoy just spending time with no pressures
It is such a heavy burden to feel physically alone and isolated from everyone. Despite having some connections, knowing rationally that you are not alone, there is this dreadful sensation of connecting with others only on the surface. You wonder if people you talk to actually know you, if they really SEE you, or if your interactions are just made out of habit or convenience. We need these deeper bonds that make us feel whole, to see in the eyes of others that the time we spend together is of real quality. It provides a sense of belonging. Not having this feels like wandering in a world that we’re enstranged from… part of it but also not entirely… it’s rough, and it’s even more difficult to find the energy to break the silence and dare to become more visible. I see you today, I hear you, and I’m proud of you for expressing how you’ve been feeling lately. I feel the depth of your words as I am myself not the best at creating new friendships (at a younger age, school was convenient for this, but it became so much more difficult as an adult). I work at home, live in a country that isn’t mine, lost most of my biological family and my sister lives abroad. Thankfully my partner and I share a home together, but I often feel like missing something – just the pleasure of hanging out during an evening with a friend, for example. The online interactions I’ve had and the family I have found at Heartsupport have been lifesaving in many ways though. It is surely not the same, but having at least regular meetings online with colleagues and my sister have been helping a lot in reducing this sense of isolation. I hope that is something you can develop in your own life – even with a distant family, it sometimes takes one conversation to decide to talk every x days or weeks for an hour or two. Moments that we share with others to just hang out and share life updates are precious. I hope you can use the tools that are available during our time at our own advantage. So that it could bring a little bit of peace and further connection into your life. <3