Feelings of never being enough. Struggles with loving myself and wether or not I deserve love.
I just want to let you know that even as a stranger from wherever in the world we come from, I know with my
Whole heart that you deserve love and that you are loved.
It is so hard to feel like love is something that has to be earned in some way, that there are conditions and requirements to meet before we can finally receive it - not only from others, but also from ourselves. It pushes us in a constant quest for something that feels systematically out of reach – we try, try and try to move forward, we do our best, we go above and beyond, aim for our goals, check all the boxes that need to be filled out… but at some point we look back and wonder what’s the point? The results are not there. The gratification doesn’t happen. Am I doing this right? Is it about the journey and what I do, or is it about ME and who I am as a person?
Feeling like I’m never enough, I’ve personally spent most of my life seeking worth through my performance at any level, to the point of seeking performance in places where it shouldn’t be. I have learned at a young age and internalized that to be loved, I needed to be useful. And as long as I’m not, then I’m not deserving of love, care, appreciation. It’s such a heavy burden to look outside for something that may be needed inside of us, first and foremost: validation, recognition, acknowledgment of our worth despite our imperfections. Because heck yeah we’re not perfect, but does that make love something to put under conditions? Maybe it’s not about us, in the end, but more about the mindset and perspective we adopt. More about the way we see ourselves, our worth, our potential. I believe wholeheartedly that transformation and healing happen within our soul, and that being aware of the obstacles that we face is a first and major step in this direction. I can learn to be a friendly and caring presence to myself. You can learn that do. And today, you’ve taken this first step – by reahcing out, being honest, being brave while embracing your own vulnerability. There is strength in this awareness. There’s room for healing in your heart. I believe in you.
Friend, thank you for this post, it can be hard to love yourself if its something you are not used to doing, if you have always been used to putting yourself down but that has nothing to do with whether you deserve it or not, you deserve love, I deserve love, every person you meet deserves love, you are as worthy and as wonderful as every other person. Thank you again for being brave enough for sharing. Much Love Lisa xx
You ARE enough and you DO deserve love just like everyone in this world. I’m sorry that you struggle with knowing that and I hope you believe me when I tell you, you matter and are loved.
What you have said here many of us have felt also. I think many of us struggle with wondering if we’re worth loving or deserving of love. I will tell you that you are more than enough, you are deserving of love. Know that here, you matter and you are loved. You have much value.