I have an illness and people think I don’t want to be with them. I don’t want to be alone but have trouble talking to people
I’m here to listen and enjoy talking and hearing what you have to say. I also feel alone and understand how you feel.
That’s tough, friend. Being in this position between this desire to be with people but also wondering how to communicate it properly, just how to create bonds with someone else. Relationships can be so complex. Especially if we’re struggling on our end, for any kind of reason.
For what it’s worth, this is very relatable to me. I almost always find myself in a similar place. Divided between a desire to spend time with others but also not knowing how to say it. I’m always afraid to bother people in one way or another. I second guess all the things I do or say to the point of not saying anything or not reaching out. Especially if the person really matters to me. And even just to say “hey, what’s up?”. While I’m genuinely willing to learn to know others, to interact and do life together. This resulted to be told, so many times, that I appear to be cold and too silent at first. Though this contrasts so much with how I feel inside. This generally pushes me to isolate myself and hide because I’m disappointed and frustrated with myself. But isolation just make things worse. Ugh. It’s a vicious spiral.
You’re not alone, friend. Communication and building strong relationships takes time and practice. With certainly lots of trials and errors. But that’s okay. I guess, honesty is a precious ally here. Honesty with yourself, with how you feel, but also with your loved ones to let them understand what going on in your mind and in your heart. They can’t understand unless you let them know. Unless you step a bit out of your comfort zone. It’s scary, for sure. But definitely worth it. There’s no perfect or magic recipe, unfortunately. But when you express yourself with your heart, you’re doing great. And it can bring some real opportunities for beautiful relationships to be created.
Misunderstandings happen. A mental illness can interfere a little with how we interact. But it never deletes the possibility and the right to be as you are, to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to learn to trust others and yourself. Take your time. Be patient with yourself. Keep trying. The people who know you have the chance to do life with you, a unique human being with lots of things to share, to offer, but also to receive.